There was this woman on the train, you see, talking to two of her friends (I am a shameless eavesdropper and people watcher. I KNOW NO SHAME!!) about how she'd been traumatized by birds early in life. Swans, in particular. She'd been feeding them. And she ran out of bread crumbs. And they attacked her. Because she had no bread crumbs. Her parents had to beat the swans off her. No bread crumbs, you see. Such a sad, tragic story. Would that all small children had bread crumbs. But alas, they do not.

...

Sh, I can hear my brain ticking. It's going to explode in a few minutes. (S'true about the lady on the train and the bird trauma. She used longer sentences, though.)

...Boom.