Six- Naruto

NOTES:
The revised, finished version of this story can be found HERE, on ficwad.

So, you know how, according to Sakura's explanation of chakra, you make chakra out of stamina, but you can't revert extra chakra back into stamina. When you run out of stamina, you die.

Naruto uses the kyuubi's chakra when he doesn't have enough stamina to create his own- the fox isn't actually giving him stamina.

The basic premise of this fic is that, twenty years after the manga, Naruto is dying because his body is rebelling against the fox demon being sealed inside of it. He is incapable of recovering stamina or making his own chakra, though he can still pull on the kyuubi's. If he weren't too exhausted to move, he'd still be able to use most ninjutsu techniques.

The other premise to the fic is simple- what if Sasuke never came back?
--------

You know, I never thought- well, clearly, that's nothing new- but I never thought it would end like this.

Naruto could make out the dim, hulking shapes of the hospital machinery in the darkness of the room; here and there a red or green light blipped, little visual cries for help sounding from the depths of the machine. The place in his arm where they'd stuck the needles ached a little; otherwise, he felt fine, really.

Tired, though. Too tired to sleep, and too tired to stay awake much longer.

It was a little lonely in the dark; he hadn't wanted to die like this, flat on his back in a hospital bed, too tired to move.

It was cancer, caused by the strange mixing of human and inhuman chakra in his body. It was a little like Sasuke's curse seal, they'd told him, only no one had really known the outcome of sealing such a powerful demon into a mere human, whereas everyone knew what the curse seal would do to Sasuke. Tapping into the fox-demon's chakra had only quickened the inevitable. Sakura, trained by Tsunade until her own skills surpassed that of the fifth, had cried when none of her medicines or jutsu could do anything more than alleviate the pain.

Seeing her cry had hurt more than knowing he was going to die.

He sort of wished Sasuke were here, so he could have someone to be angry at. He couldn't blame Yondaime for sealing the fox inside of him, and he couldn't blame the fox for being himself- Naruto had been blamed for that too many times to ever do it to anyone else. Even if that someone else was the reason he was dying. The kyuubi didn’t begrudge him chakra anymore when he needed the strength, but a human body couldn’t reverse the process of making chakra- he couldn’t turn the foxes’ spirit into stamina and strenght.

If Sasuke were here, they'd yell at each other. Sasuke would say that there was no way he could be rivals with someone so weak, and he would say that Sasuke was just bitter because Sakura liked him better now, and he'd always be stronger, no matter what, and neither of them would mean it but they'd yell anyway, just to remind themselves and each other that they were still alive.

He missed that a lot, sometimes.
--

He was still alive in the morning, and every day had become like that- "Today is June Twenty-Sixth, and the Sixth Hokage is Still Alive and Feeling Well Enough to Eat Breakfast." He didn't eat much, but it made Sakura smile. She didn't smile enough anymore.

Kakashi-sensei had stopped coming to visit after they'd removed his left eye. The cancer was insidious, appearing in the strangest places all over his body, without warning or pattern; he'd felt his vision going before they'd realized what was happening. The healers had removed his eye to keep it from spreading to his mouth, or his brain, or his skin. They were removing him, piece by piece, until there'd be nothing left but a battered hitai-ate. He wasn't allowed to wear it anymore, but he held onto it anyway, needing to hold on to something in the dark.

Iruka-sensei still visited every day after his classes. He used to talk about his students, and how none of their pranks had ever measured up to Naruto's, and how the old man at Ichiraku was worried about going out of business without his favorite customer. Naruto used to laugh along with his old teacher, but now neither of them had the strength. Iruka came and sat by his bed anyway, unsmiling and silent.

Neji and Hinata saw him every day, too, to check over his body with their Byakugan. They never looked directly at him, but they would stand by the window together, and Neji would comment on the birds he saw. Hinata would tremble a little and cover her eyes to hide her tears. They'd tried sealing off the kyuubi's chakra with their knowledge of opening points, but the cancer had reacted to their efforts by flaring up twice as worse as before. Naruto had lost a lung to that, and Hinata still hadn't forgiven herself.

He hadn't minded; he'd been bedridden by that point anyway, and it had been worth the pain just to seem them standing next to each other. Neji smiled more, now that the branch house had been dissolved, and Hinata stuttered less now that Neji didn't hate her.

An envoy from the sand came once, escorting the Kazekage. She'd come directly to Naruto's room, flanked by her brothers. The Kazekage was always veiled, but Temari's eyes were still sharp and unfeminine above the mask. She'd come with treaty agreements, determined to cement the peace between Sand and Leaf for generations to come. Naruto had asked why, but she hadn't answered; he didn't miss the way her eyes flickered to her youngest brother.

Gaara stayed after the other sand nins left, officially as a peace offering of sorts, unofficially because Gaara didn't want to leave Naruto alone. Gaara couldn't teach him how to stay alive and Naruto couldn't teach him how to sleep, so eventually the other man went away, leaving a sand sculpture of a fox and badger curled around each other as a memento. Naruto hoped he found some peace somewhere, though he missed having someone to talk to who didn’t always have tears in their eyes. (Even if he’d been so inclined, Gaara’s tear ducts were usually too clogged with sand to work.)

Ino sent him flowers every day, either coming herself with bouquets of daffodils, or sending Shikamaru or Chouji in her stead. Chouji always brought food with him, too, and Naruto would thank him even though he never had the strength to eat it. Sometimes he played go with Shikamaru. Sometimes Shikamaru let him win; after he lost the use of his right hand (some sort of nerve damage, they said, we don't know what caused it), Shikamaru never let him lose.

It was better than nothing- better than being completely alone. He had to keep telling himself that. And anything was better than dying in bed- sure, they'd carved his face on the mountain, but they'd never carve his name on the marker where Kakashi went to pay his respects every morning if he didn't get out of bed.

He was so tired though. He slept through Iruka's visit and Sakura's tears, right on into the next day. He dreamed of foxes.
--

"October Tenth, and the Hokage Is Still Alive, We Think. We Don't Know For Sure Because He Won't Let Anyone In His Room."

Naruto knew there were ninja lined up outside his door to congratulate him on turning thirty-two, but he was sulking, and seeing people just made everyone sad, and then they'd start crying. Naruto wondered if they'd let him pass a law about that- no crying in the Hokage's presence unless they're tears of joy. But then everyone would just say they were so happy he was still alive, so happy he'd woken up this day, too- and he wouldn't be able to take it. So, bed-ridden or not, dying or not, incapable of movement and speech or not, he still had enough chakra to keep one stupid hospital door locked.

He'd forgotten the window. Strategy had always been his weak point.

"Well, *this* is a surprise. I'd heard rumors, but I hadn't believed them."

Naruto felt the kyuubi uncoil inside of him, felt the depleted remains of his own chakra feeding off the limitless reserves of the demon. Now he was really angry. Still too tired to do much about it, though. He glared at the man in the window. "You look like his brother. Same eyes."

Orochimaru smirked with Sasuke's face from the windowsill. Naruto wanted to rip it off, but he couldn't even lift his now-clawed hand. "Itachi was powerful, but he always thought too small." He even sounded like Sasuke- or rather, his voice did. The words were all wrong, and the tone was too smug, too confident to belong to the boy who had doubted himself to death.

Naruto was tired, and seeing Sasuke's face hurt. "What do you want?"

"To confirm the rumors. To see you myself."

"To kill me?"

"You’d hardly be a challenge, and I've already got the mangekyou sharingan."

Naruto thought about that for a moment. "Kabuto."

He was rewarded with something very close to pain flashing across Sas- Orochimaru's face. Naruto sneered. "You murdered the one man who was completely loyal to you- or maybe it was the other way around? He was the only one you never sent against me, after all. And for- what, exactly? Power? Immortality? You're wearing out that body pretty quickly- are those wrinkles I see?"

"They are not." The childish retort, snapped in Sasuke's voice from Sasuke's face, stopped Naruto's breath for a moment. They both looked away, composing themselves.

"You've seen me. I'm dying. The only things I can still move are my mouth and my right pinky, but they might have to take the whole arm soon if they can't get the spots on my skin to go away. If you're done gloating, you can leave. Or I can unlock the door, and you can see how well you can take on an army."

Orochimaru snorted and sat in the chair by the bed. "Empty threats, brat. You *were* the only man with a hope at taking me- now, I am invincible."

Naruto rolled his remaining eye and stared resolutely at the ceiling. "Geez, can't you come up with any better lines than that? Loser." His voice had dropped to a whisper, lessening the effect he was hoping to get out of the words.

"Kukuku. Still a brat. Twenty years hasn't matured you in the slightest." There was something almost affectionate in the way Orochimaru bared his fangs at Naruto.

"Quit laughing like that, you freaky snake bastard- and keep your fucking tongue in your mouth. I hate it when you do that, it's fucking disgusting. Bad enough that I had to see you do it in that old form, but seeing Sasuke do it? Just- fucking disgusting." His voice broke on Sasuke's name, and Orochimaru laughed again, but it was Sasuke's laugh, not the snake-chuckle, and Naruto wished he had the strength to die.

"You miss him so much. Ku... It must be so painful, having a heart- he didn't, you know. That's why he left you and came to me." He leaned over the bed and licked his lips. “Maybe I should put you out of your misery?”

Naruto snarled. “Fuck off, snake breath. You can’t kill me. You’re not Sasuke.”

“But you’re wrong.” Orochimaru was standing by the window again, face expressionless. “I am Sasuke. He’s not really dead, you know. His feelings, dreams, desires... they live on in my subconscious. A will as strong as his cannot be completely subjugated, not even by me.

“But you’re right...I can’t kill you now. Enough of him survives in me to let you live.” He grinned and let the end of his tongue uncoil between his teeth. “That’s fine with me; it would be kind to kill you now.”

“Bastard.” Naruto knew it was true; the only thing keeping him alive was the fox demon’s chakra and his own sheer, stupid, limitless stubbornness.

“I think he is glad he isn’t alive to see you like this. He was weak, after all. This would have killed him.” Orochimaru licked his lips again, and disappeared out the window.

Naruto stared dully at the ceiling and waited for sleep.