"I still don't get the shepherd thing- I mean, what do people keep sheep for? To breed them, exploit them, sell their children, and eventually eat them. What kind of a god wants to eat his followers?" Jubal and Radueriel had invited them over for dinner and Tyler wasn't wasting the rare opportunity to heckle his brother. Jubal had allegedly been forced to hit Dei over the head with a dictionary and kidnap him.

Given that he'd seen his brother only three times in the past five years and hadn't gotten a single birthday card since turning 18, he could easily believe that his father-in-law had to resort to kidnapping.

"You wonder why we haven't spoken in so long when all you do is attack my ideals and beliefs every time we see each other." Dei leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his wine. "Quite a few Native American and African deities demanded human sacrifices. Christianity has always used symbolic cannibalism, which only makes the 'shepherd thing' make more sense. Jesus wasn't a vegatarian." He shrugged.

"But he didn't require his followers to shear themselves," Tyler countered. "Unless you just happened to miss that memo. But you'd look pretty stupid with a shaved head." They were all well on their way towards getting drunk, which only made him more inclined towards making silly remarks.

Dei gave him one of his famous level stares that never failed to make anyone uncomfortable. "New inmates always had their heads shaved. More than one of my peers remarked on the attractiveness of my skull."

Tyler twitched uncomfortably, even further unsettled by his brother's stare. Opal shook her head at their antics, having wisely chosen to stay out of the discussion. "Okay," Tyler amended. "Fine. You can keep the sheep-keeper symbolism. But what about the homosexuality thing? I don't see how you of all people could possibly adhere to any set of beliefs that preaches any sort of intolerance-"

"What exactly are you trying to imply, Tyler?" There was absolutely no inflection in Dei's voice, and his stare had gone three shades more flat.

Tyler flushed. "Nothing! I mean, you haven't had a girl friend since high school- or not one that you've told me about, you secret keeping bastard, but I mean whatever you do is your business..." His wine sloshed wildly in its glass as he gestured violently with it.

Opal chuckled and rescued her husband's glass. "Give it a rest, Ty. He's laughing at you."

Tyler glared at his brother accusingly. Dei's mouth twitched, and he relented, lowering his eyes. He saluted Opal with his glass and took another sip. "It's too easy to get you worked up about things. But in answer to your question- 'To love another person is to know the face of God.'"

"That's Les Mis, not the Bible."

"So? Same principle. Read the Gospels, or Saint Paul's letters to everyone." He shrugged. "I tend to ignore most of the Old Testament anyway, as it's mostly history and inapplicable laws. An interesting read, but not what I'd base a religion on."

"You can't just pick and choose!" Tyler protested.

"Why not? Henry the Eighth did."

"Because you are not Henry the Eighth, damn it!" Tyler was waving his glass again. Opal sighed and let him gesticulate. It wasn't worth fighting for.

"Thank God." Dei rolled his eyes. "Just because you're a violent, evangelistic atheist doesn't mean I'm going to listen to your half-drunken, faulty arguments against my own beliefs."

Opal giggled at Tyler's blank expression. "Either those words were too big for him to handle, or he's still trying to get past 'evangelistic atheist'. Give him a minute and he'll come up with something else."

"I can hardly wait." Dei's tone was dry enough to rival a desert.

Tyler recovered and glared. "At least I don't go around like some bloody sheep-"

"Again with the sheep!"

"-saying 'God is good, God is great, God is everywhere-"

"Let's have cake!" Radueriel and a large, wobbly construction of chocolate and excessive amounts of sugar materialized on the table. The angel looked obscenely pleased with herself, causing the air to hum with smug contenment.

"Amen," Dei intoned solemnly.

"Amen indeed." Jubal entered the dining room through the usual way- the door. He set a mismatched pile of plates on the table and wiped a smear of chocolate off Radueriel's nose. "She made this herself, you know. From scratch, no magic. She set the kitchen on fire twice."

"I thought I smelled smoke..." Opal gently removed the serving knife from her mother's hands and patted the angel fondly on the head. Radueriel purred and held out a plate. Opal obligingly cut a hefty slice of the cake and smiled when her mother presented it to Dei, beaming bright enough to blind.

He looked from the cake to his wine glass with a wistful expression. "Nothing you do can ever make wine and chocolate work well together." He took the cake with a small sigh.

"Snob." Tyler, no longer the center of attention, had resorted to sulking. Opal gave him a piece of cake, and served the rest of them.

Dei raised an eyebrow and took a bite of the cake. "But that doesn't stop us from trying," he finished serenely. "And it's worth every inadvertant blaze, my Lady." He managed a half bow in Radueriel's direction.

The sourceless background music went from smug to ecstatic. "You say the nicest things," she cooed. "Your much nicer than he is." She jerked her head in Jubal's direction. "Stay with me! I'll give you his room and kick him out on to the street and we can spend our days making beautiful music and eating beautiful cake..."

"The music would be beautiful, at any rate." Jubal eyed his own slice of cake with a rueful grin. "And she wouldn't really kick me out. You'd have to share my room."

"I would so! He beats me, you know." She spoke to Tyler in a stage whisper. "Would you like to move in, too? I have extra cake."

"Where would I go if Tyler moved in with you?" Opal wondered.

"You can stay with me on the street and we can sit on the corner and sing for money while plotting to take my house back and change all the locks to keep her out." Jubal wiped another smear of chocolate off Radueriel's nose.

She beamed again, and for a moment a tinny looking halo appeared over her head. Then she winked and looked positively demonic. "You can all stay! At least until we run out of cake." She looked at her plate thoughtfully. There were only crumbs left on it, the cake having been inhaled in the pauses between sentences.

Dei smiled fondly at his dysfunctional little family and shrugged. "Why not? I haven't got anywhere else to be."

Opal rolled her eyes as Tyler leaned forward in his chair, glaring once again. "Now you've done it..." she murmured.

"Haven't got anywhere else to be? Really? Then I suppose you had somewhere so much better to be at graduation, and at New Years, and at our wedding reception..."

Radueriel obligingly refilled Dei's glass as he continued to eat his cake, oblivious to Tyler's ranting.
------------------------

I couldn't help myself. As soon as Dei brought Les Mis into it, I had to write it down. As usual, it didn't make the translation into words as smoothly as I wish it had, but there was no cake in my head.

Radueriel's a little crack monkey, isn't she? Jubal doesn't really beat her, though she deserves it after setting the kitchen on fire twice. The first time was an honest accident. The second time was on purpose, though she'll deny it from here 'til Armageddon.

Haven't written for them in a while. They were feeling neglected, and I'd begun to miss them, the crack monkies.