I like that just about any pairing in Bleach is a crack pairing; even when there's subtext between two characters, it's usually very faint. There are a few exceptions- Hitsugaya and Hinamori being the notable one- but for the most part, there's a refreshing lack of subtext. Ichigo and Rukia have this weird asexual romance thing going on that I absolutely love- I have no interest whatsoever in reading anything that pairs the two of them, but the way they work in the manga is beautiful. Bleach is just difficult to 'ship pairings in.
Mostly, I'm just an 11th Division whore, and I love Chad. But if I have to choose pairings, then by gourd, I'm going for the gold- and by gold, of course, I mean crack. Right now I'm kind of obsessed with Zaraki/Unohana (4x11! omgtheirloveissoviolentlymathematical), which is actually all kinds of wrong- but not as wrong as adult!Yachiru/Ikkaku, which is the other thing trying to eat my brain. (Owowgetitoutithurtswiththeburning) Fandom has given me a love of Shuuhei/Yumachika (that's 69-on-his-face-guy and feather-eyebrows-guy) and I like Shunsui and Ukitake in any context, romantic or otherwise. Still in
I need to find the wacom, so I can doodle Zaraki and his badass, jingly, eyepatched self. Until then- snip!
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The captain of the fourth division looked vaguely annoyed as she swept down the hallways of the fourth division headquarters. The bodies of medics littered the halls, all of them either unconscious or huddled in corners, whimpering.
The source of the devastation was standing at the entrance to the building, jingling slightly and glaring at something small, pink, and stuck to his shoulder.
Unohana's expression intensified another slight degree; she was almost frowning. Any of the shinigami under her command would have made themselves scarce upon seeing that face- had any of them remained conscious in the overwhelming presence of Zaraki Kenpachi's spiritual energy.
"You got us lost again!"
"Ken-chan didn't listen! We were supposed to go left!"
"Idiot! I went left! Now look at where we are!"
"Captain Zaraki." Unohana's icy voice cut through their bickering like a ban kai zanpakutou through a slice of pie- which is to say, very thoroughly.
Yachiru was staring at her with something akin to awe in her eyes. "Scary," she whispered. Zaraki had the grace to look slightly embarrased, and the utterly ridiculous strength of his spiritual presence wavered in the face of her disapproval.
"Er, we got a little lost, that's all-"
Unohana interrupted him coldly. "Captain Zaraki, please remove yourself and your ankle-biting second in command from this area. Your presence is disturbing my subordinates." She only hoped no one had hurt themselves when Zaraki's energy knocked them over. It would take days to calm everyone down after this.
"What did you just call Yachiru?" His spirit energy was dangerously subdued, and his hand was twitching towards the hilt of his nameless zanpakutou.
This man is an idiot, Unohana realized. She'd heard rumors, but hadn't believed them until now.
There were few things she hated more than dealing with idiots. Her expression darkened another degree.
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Not quite finished yet, but it's been stuck in my head. I love the fourth division almost as much as the eleventh (Ganjyu/Hanatarou is my other crack pairing of choice), because Unohana is just. So. Frickin. Cool.
Gah, now I'm late, must be leaving.
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