"More than TWO!!!!"
"So since his roommate stole his pizza, he stole a cadaver from the medlab and hid it in the back of the guys truck and called campus police on him and they were all like 'sir, we'd like to check your trunk for dead bodies' and the guy was all like 'okay, sure!' because I mean who expects to find dead bodies in their trunk?"
"So what would you do if I actually caught fire?" "LAUGH!!"
"Oooh! Hey, can I read fiery death in your palm?" "Well, I'd really rather have sharp and pointy death." "Eh. I'll see what I can do."
"So then his roommate was like "Can I come with you? I'm already saved." to the Jehova's Witnesses and he just followed them around door to door bouncing up and down saying "I'm saved! I'm saved!" behind them. And now whenever I see Steve I shout "CAN I COME WITH YOU!!?"
"If I wanted to read FEET I'd make her take her shoes off!"
"Poke a nose!" "Hey, isn't that like in New York? And isn't there snow there?"
"No worry lines? No stress lines? I HAVE NO ANGST! What am I going to do with myself?!"
"