Rantypants

(*cough* *sings* All I want for Christmas is some Kabuto/Itachi...or any Sandsibling interaction...or some Turkfic...or Ikkaku with no shirt...*shuts up*)

Semi-brief rundown of things I cannot stand about the Naruto fandom/Naruto fans/Naruto fanfiction -or- Pairing rants with little to no rationalization:

Sasuke/Sakura. Yeah, I know, "Don't like it, don't read it." I don't read this pairing (or any of the other pairings I dislike), but the fact that it exists at all irritates me. Particularly when it's written in such a way that the two of them are happily in love; Sasuke has far too many issues to ever be in a happy relationship with anyone, and Sakura has far too many issues to ever be in a happy relationship with Sasuke.

Naruto/Hinata just sort of makes me go "ow," because Hinata's social anxiety around him is just that painful. I don't hate the pairing intensely, but I can't ever see it working without Hinata being able to say more than three words to him without hiding behind a wall. (Post timeskip Hinata, for all that we've only seen two panels of her, disappoints me immensely.)

Neji/Hinata. Hate this pairing. Hate hate hate hate hate it. Hate it like poison. Hate it so much I don't even have words to express my hate. Hate it more than Sasuke/Sakura. He's emotionally reticent when it comes to expressing affection (not completely emotionless, just reserved) and still bitter at the main family, and she's kind of in love with Naruto and kind of socially retarded and emotionally fragile- which would lead to her being miserable and afraid to express herself around him, and him being either afraid of shattering her, or impatient with her shyness. But aside from that, you've also got the whole first cousins and children of identical twins.

Given that the Hyuuga are probably already full of inbreeding (I like to think they keep a few buildings in the compound reserved for the care and feeding of genetic disasters- the children no one talks about, whose parents refuse to claim, the ones that would've been left on hillsides before the third Hokage declared that practice inhumane...*far top uninterested in House Hyuuga to ever write that fic*), they would share a bit more genetic material than normal first cousins would, even with the identical-twins parent thing. Incest in fics = occasionally interesting (but not often). Inbreeding in fics = NO.

I want someone to write a Neji/Hinata fic where they get married and fix the clan and then have a beautiful, drooling, three eyed baby. Only I probably still wouldn't read it, because I cannot stand the pairing.

Kakashi/girly!Iruka. Paxnirvana's Kakashi/Iruka series is what got me into Naruto in the first place; I reread it the other day and it made me cringe, because my perception of the characters has shifted so much since last year. Part of it is the fault of the manga for downplaying Iruka so much (I refuse to treat the anime as cannon); part of it is that Kakashi/Iruka is the default sidebar pairing for Sasuke/Naruto, and much of that is written by people who swallow yaoi/shounen ai stereotypes without question. (Occasionally, I hate Japan.) I've got a very short list of Kakashi/Iruka fics that don't make me want to stab someone. Very short.

Mysteriously powerful!Iruka is also kind of annoying. *glances at Blindsided* Good thing I'd never think of doing that in my own fic...(To be fair, I just haven't covered those plot points. Not that anything in that bloody story actually makes sense, mind you.)

Gaara/any female character. HATE. Sakura/Hinata/Ino/TenTen/your Mary Sue/the Ramen Girl isn't going to work him through his mommy issues in this lifetime, let alone soon enough for them to have a meaningful relationship. (Okay, he doesn't really have mommy issues in cannon. But he ought to.) Oh, and people who write Gaara/Temari? Stop that. Just- stop. I mean it, don't make me get the newspaper.

Itachi. I hate Itachi. That's all, really. (But I love Kisame so, so much.)

Yeah, okay, I'm done now.
(DIP: 8/10. I wasn't on my computer at all yesterday, aside from keeping the logs for Renegades, and I haven't done today's yet.)