The inside of my head right now:

Me: So, uh, who wants to do something interesting so I can, you know, write? Guys? Buehler? Anyone?
Dei: Too busy angsting over non-linear timelines, kthnx.
Tyler: Ditto.
Opal: Yeah, pretty much.
Len: Whee!
Lyra: Aren't you finished with this story yet? I mean, I'm here now. What more do you need?
Me: You're lucky Dei likes you so much, otherwise I'd totally drop something heavy on your head.
Lyra: I'm a pop superstar with the power of the cosmos. Anything I do? Is totally your own fault.

Me: ...You know what, Boffo? You suck. All of you. Who else have we got? Theron? You can't hide from Drake forever, we owe Gina a drabble.
Theron: Piss off, I hate bars.
Me: You agreed to this, brat. Come on, it'll be fun, you can banter at each other and Finbar can gnaw on things.
Theron: *sulk* Don't wanna.
Me: You're just upset because not only does Bren like Stella better, but Silver likes Blaine better- and Blaine's dead. So's Stella, actually. You're getting shown up by a bunch of dead people. The irony is staggering. And you're upset because Drake keeps calling you emo-boy.
Theron: Thank you, because I needed more angst. See if I ever talk to you again.

Me: Whatever, emo-boy. Okay, that leaves...Naruto! Come on, Blindsided people! Neji, you wanna make an appearance?
Neji: Not really.
Me: I wasn't actually giving you a choice, bird boy.
Neji: How about...no? Yes, I'm thinking no. ...Byakugan! ((o_o))
Me: Oh for the love of cheese, my figments are using emoticons at me. I give up. Naruto?
Naruto: There's sand in my boots! Damnit Gaara, why did you have to live in the middle of a desert?
Me: Hoookay, that's it, you're not allowed to spend any more time near FFVI. Please keep at least thirty feet between yourself and Kefka at all times, thank you, move along. But speaking of Gaara...
Gaara: *hides under rock*
Kankurou: *pokes with stick* Huh. He hasn't done that in years. You might want to come back later- this could take a while.
Me: Oh, buggafuck. It's a bloody conspiracy, that's what it is.
Temari: Or you're just lazy and looking for excuses.
Me: So hot, yet so cold. I don't suppose you want to finish that drabble series or the oneshot?
Temari: Bitch, please.
Me: *sigh*

I FAIL AT EVERYTHING.

Also, Gina, I miss you like whoa.