Dear Naruto Fandom,
I have three things to say to you. They are as follows:
1 (one): Naruto is not emo. He is not suicidal, nor is he prone to cutting, self mutilation, or eating disorders. He is also not prone to referring to Sasuke as anything other than "Bastard." Please note that "Sasu-chan" is about as close to the opposite of "Bastard" as one can get.
2 (two): Iruka is not a hysterical woman. Nor is he a twelve year old girl, a "mere chuunin," or any sort of weeping uke. The man's a fucking ninja, people. No, he's not a genius, but that doesn't automatically make him completely helpless.
3 (three): Itachi is not a sex fiend. His diabolical plans do not revolve around his not-so-secret desires for any of the following: Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, or Hinata. He is also incapable of warm and squishy feelings, unless you count the sensation that comes with removing a person's internal organs with one's fist.
Thank you, and goodnight.
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