Go read:
Nine Swords
"That way it won't look so much like you've been going door to door collecting ass-beatings!"

No, really, it won't. Oh, ye gods, the snark! Rather lovely comic about...um...I'm not really sure what it's about, aside from Jhnih getting his ass repeatedly beaten by Riley. But it's pretty, if rather extensively gorey in places (Like when Jhnih loses his eye. Graphic. Just warnin' ya.) and thus far the morbid humor is threatening to make me spew tea out my nose...or it would, if I were drinking tea.

Riley, by the way, is in the box. As is Jhnih, but only because he can't seem to get rid of Riley and because he has such very bad luck with...everything.

Go read, if you feel up to dealing with gore and vampires and intense amounts of snark. You'll be a better person for it, I promise.