NOTES:
I'm hoping Samurai Champloo has a happy ending, because I like the idea of the three main characters moving somewhere and living in three separate houses, as neighbors, all sappy and happy.
Why? Because episode eleven broke my heart, and Jin needs people to care about who will actually let him care about them. He and Shino belong together, all the sexual tension between Jin and Mugen notwithstanding.
Set this between ten and twenty years after the series; Fuu's gotten vengeance, Shino's free from the temple and married to Jin, Mugen's having a long distance affair with Yatsuhara. The oldest kid is around ten, I think. And, ah...sorry for the fangirl Japanese. *shame*
---
"Out! Get out of here! Go bother Jin- you haven't tried to kill each other in at least a week." Fuu scolded and shooed him out with a broom.
Mugen yelped when the handle cracked against his skull. "Bitch! I'm hungry-"
"And I'm busy! Out!" Fuu pushed him out the door and slammed it shut after him.
Mugen rubbed the back of his head and glared at the door. How was he supposed to get lunch? He sighed. Maybe Shino-san would take pity on his empty stomach, if Jin didn't see him first and try to kill him. It had been nearly a week, after all.
The little town they'd settled into was too cute for words- thankfully, the Yakuza were more than willing to hire an extra man to do odd jobs. A totally peaceful place had nothing for a man like him. He just made sure the organized crime left Fuu and Jin alone, and they were all happy; he had something to do in his spare time, Fuu didn't get kidnapped anymore, and Jin got to threaten to kill him for having no honor all the time.
Shino-san was always grateful, too, and whenever he got too bored with killing things, she'd give him pocket change to watch over the kids.
Speaking of...Mugen dropped into a crouch and swept his leg out and back, knocking the little boy behind him ass over feet. "Oi. Yukimaru."
"Mugen." The little brat had Jin's pout. Mugen glared down at the boy.
"Mugen-san. Show some respect to your elders, Yukimaru-kun." Shino-san bowed in greeting and picked her son up from the dirt with one hand. She carried a bucket in the other. "Ohayo, Mugen-san. I'm sorry he tried to attack you."
"Yo." He tried to peer into the bucket, but Yukimaru's glaring head was in the way. "Are those eel in there?"
"Aa."
"Can I have one?"
She smiled gently. "These are for Fuu-chan. I'm sorry, Mugen-san." She sounded like she actually meant it, too. Mugen sighed.
"Whatever. Where's Jin?"
"At home with the children. Why don't you take Yukimaru-kun with you? I promised Fuu-chan I'd spend the afternoon with her." She smiled so gently he couldn't say no, not even with the little brat glaring daggers at him. That, and she was already halfway down the street by the time he'd registered the fact that she'd just stuck him with the kid.
"Fine, fine. Tell that bitch she'd better feed me dinner while you're there!" he called after her. If she heard him, she gave no sign.
"Don't talk that way in front of mother!" Mugen nimbly dodged a sharp kick to his ankles.
"Oi! Stop that!" He caught the boy in a headlock. "Come on, I'll let Jin deal with you. Little monster..." Yukimaru kicked and screamed as Mugen swung him over one shoulder. "Quit squirming or I drop you on your head!"
Jin was in the back yard of his house, chopping wood. Mugen caught a half-hewn log as it spun off the chopping block towards his head. "You tryin' to kill me?"
Jin glared at him. Like father like son. "Yes."
Mugen dropped Yukimaru and had his sword out just in time to deflect another block of wood. Then Jin had his sword out and they were both at each other's throats.
"Oi! Oi! Mugen's here!" Yukimaru ran into the house, shouting, and came out with his brother and sister. Mugen cursed- he hated remembering not to hurt the children. Shino-san would beat him with her umbrella and never feed him again.
He still thought it was hilarious that Jin had kids. Three of them. They followed their father in a line, like a set of well behaved ducklings, whenever he went into town.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Twenty Two- Aggregati
I do not make a habit of "stalking" my targets, as you so unpleasantly put it. I merely study them. You wanted details- I provide them. For the price you are paying, you are entitled to more details than most.
He has black hair that reaches to the middle of his back; only the Azhdekhai have ever seen it unbound. At his most casual, he holds it back in a tail with a lacquered black and gold clip that was a gift from his Lord. In public, making official appearances as the Seventh's representative, he puts it up into two hundred very small braids and fixes them to his scalp in a tower with gold wire. The resulting effect resembles a sea anemone gone wrong. For classes and wandering around the cities, he usually ties it up into a bun to keep it out of his way. Don't look at me- or him- like that. It's a manly bun. If you saw him, you would have no doubts.
His seal, like all seals, originates between his eyes across the bridge of his nose. Unlike most seals, his extends across his nose and over his cheeks, rather than simply curving over his forehead and down his temples. The origin is shaped like a crown; this pattern is repeated in the center of his forehead and surrounded by stylized wings. The rest of his seal is a symmetrical lotus flower pattern that covers the rest of his face, his neck, shoulders, chest, and back. It tapers down to another crown and pair of wings directly above his navel, where it stops. He has a small lotus flower over each spinal ridge, and wings over his shoulder blades. All of the pattern loci are connected by vines and leaves, and each of the points on his seal is marked by a crown.
Different points are located in different areas of the body, depending on their purpose. His points are located on the bridge of his nose, the center of his forehead, his temples, the corners of his eyes, neck, chest, navel, shoulders, his shoulder blades, and in three places along his spine. The seal is symmetrical, so the third point, which is located on both temples, counts only as one point even though there are two loci.
The eleventh and twelf points are the ones on his chest and navel; they were added after his commissioning by the Azhdekhai. How? Sir, do I look like one of the Azhdekhai to you? I provide details, not Aggregate engineering degrees.
He has absolute control over his seal and can choose to manifest only part of it in a greeting. He can also alter it slightly; he can't completely remove any of the patterns, but he can shift them and turn them different colors. If his control slips, occasionally his loci will turn red anyway. His control very rarely slips.
He is not especially tall or imposing, and at first glance he doesn't seem particularly interesting. At second and third glance, however, you realize that his appearance is as close to a physical ideal as one can get. His build is average, his facial features fairly ordinary- black hair and dark brown eyes, straight nose, even mouth- but they are all placed in such a way as to be nearly perfect. Symmetry is incredibly important.
He is vain, and oftentimes cruel; all life but the Azhdekhai are inferior to him, and he likes to remind the world of this fact. As an Aggregate in the service of the Seventh, he has no peers. His pasttimes include planning wars, playing chess and other games of strategy, and killing things for the pleasure of the Seventh.
To her, there was nothing more pleasing than the sight of her favorite toy dressed only in the blood of his opponent. He occasionally forgets that humans have laws against senseless slaughter; he was not programmed to be polite or kind to humanity. However, to keep peace and to protect her toy from mobs, the Seventh installed a warning program into his eleventh point. If he kills too many people, it will momentarily stop his body functions.
"Too many" is an arbitrary number to the Seventh, and it changes according to her whim while she observes him. It seems to be any number between three and seventy-two. Aburame Vazini, like all Aggregati, is nothing more than an expensive and elaborate toy. He is, perhaps, the most perfectly crafted toy on the planet, but in the end, he is nothing more than a toy.
And toys are so easy to break, sometimes, sir. But that, thankfully, is not my job.
He has black hair that reaches to the middle of his back; only the Azhdekhai have ever seen it unbound. At his most casual, he holds it back in a tail with a lacquered black and gold clip that was a gift from his Lord. In public, making official appearances as the Seventh's representative, he puts it up into two hundred very small braids and fixes them to his scalp in a tower with gold wire. The resulting effect resembles a sea anemone gone wrong. For classes and wandering around the cities, he usually ties it up into a bun to keep it out of his way. Don't look at me- or him- like that. It's a manly bun. If you saw him, you would have no doubts.
His seal, like all seals, originates between his eyes across the bridge of his nose. Unlike most seals, his extends across his nose and over his cheeks, rather than simply curving over his forehead and down his temples. The origin is shaped like a crown; this pattern is repeated in the center of his forehead and surrounded by stylized wings. The rest of his seal is a symmetrical lotus flower pattern that covers the rest of his face, his neck, shoulders, chest, and back. It tapers down to another crown and pair of wings directly above his navel, where it stops. He has a small lotus flower over each spinal ridge, and wings over his shoulder blades. All of the pattern loci are connected by vines and leaves, and each of the points on his seal is marked by a crown.
Different points are located in different areas of the body, depending on their purpose. His points are located on the bridge of his nose, the center of his forehead, his temples, the corners of his eyes, neck, chest, navel, shoulders, his shoulder blades, and in three places along his spine. The seal is symmetrical, so the third point, which is located on both temples, counts only as one point even though there are two loci.
The eleventh and twelf points are the ones on his chest and navel; they were added after his commissioning by the Azhdekhai. How? Sir, do I look like one of the Azhdekhai to you? I provide details, not Aggregate engineering degrees.
He has absolute control over his seal and can choose to manifest only part of it in a greeting. He can also alter it slightly; he can't completely remove any of the patterns, but he can shift them and turn them different colors. If his control slips, occasionally his loci will turn red anyway. His control very rarely slips.
He is not especially tall or imposing, and at first glance he doesn't seem particularly interesting. At second and third glance, however, you realize that his appearance is as close to a physical ideal as one can get. His build is average, his facial features fairly ordinary- black hair and dark brown eyes, straight nose, even mouth- but they are all placed in such a way as to be nearly perfect. Symmetry is incredibly important.
He is vain, and oftentimes cruel; all life but the Azhdekhai are inferior to him, and he likes to remind the world of this fact. As an Aggregate in the service of the Seventh, he has no peers. His pasttimes include planning wars, playing chess and other games of strategy, and killing things for the pleasure of the Seventh.
To her, there was nothing more pleasing than the sight of her favorite toy dressed only in the blood of his opponent. He occasionally forgets that humans have laws against senseless slaughter; he was not programmed to be polite or kind to humanity. However, to keep peace and to protect her toy from mobs, the Seventh installed a warning program into his eleventh point. If he kills too many people, it will momentarily stop his body functions.
"Too many" is an arbitrary number to the Seventh, and it changes according to her whim while she observes him. It seems to be any number between three and seventy-two. Aburame Vazini, like all Aggregati, is nothing more than an expensive and elaborate toy. He is, perhaps, the most perfectly crafted toy on the planet, but in the end, he is nothing more than a toy.
And toys are so easy to break, sometimes, sir. But that, thankfully, is not my job.
Twenty One- Samurai Champloo
Mugen didn't believe in second chances. This didn't eplain the fact that he kept getting them- second chances, third chances, fourth, fifth, sixth chances...somehow, miraculously, he was still alive.
Jin would have said it was because he couldn't die until they had their last rematch; Fuu would've said it was because they hadn't found her Sunflower Samurai yet.
Mugen didn't believe in Buddha or the gods, but he figured somebody must be finding his life hilarious. He coughed up another lungful of seawater and spat it at a mile marker as he hobbled down the road. Betrayed, shot at, set on fire, drowned, and betrayed again. And he was still alive.
Yup. Real fuckin' hilarious.
Jin would have said it was because he couldn't die until they had their last rematch; Fuu would've said it was because they hadn't found her Sunflower Samurai yet.
Mugen didn't believe in Buddha or the gods, but he figured somebody must be finding his life hilarious. He coughed up another lungful of seawater and spat it at a mile marker as he hobbled down the road. Betrayed, shot at, set on fire, drowned, and betrayed again. And he was still alive.
Yup. Real fuckin' hilarious.
Twenty- Birds of a Feather, Second Generation
It was weird seeing Dei surrounded by children. Jance tried to find another adjective, and failed. "Unsettling" didn't even cover it. "Disturbing" wasn't quite right, either. "Weird" worked just perfectly.
They weren't entirely children- teenagers were closer to demons or angels than humans in their ability to get into trouble and cause massive property damage. But the boys were hanging off his arms and shoulders like spawn half their age, while the girl tickled anything within reach. They were laughing, like they were some sort of normal family- and the woman was standing nearby, leaning in whenever she got the chance, still unsure of her place in the tangle of limbs but slowly gaining confidence. She belonged there as much as anything. They were just a normal family, doing normal family things.
Normal looked weird on Dei. He wore it well (Jance had made a business out of having an eye for what people wore well), but he was Dei- he wore everything well if you left it on him long enough.
The woman had come to be measured for a wedding gown, the girl for a bridesmaid's dress. The boys were there to torment their sister, and Dei was along for the ride.
Winter weddings were good, he decided, digging out his tape measure. They were hopeful. New Year's weddings were even better: they were lucky. The last time he'd measured someone for a dress, he'd witnessed the end of the world. The dress had gotten torn to bits- part of him still hadn't forgiven Opal for that.
Lyra hadn't given him any details on the dress; he'd been told to make something appropriately expensive and impressive. A pair of butterfly wings flashed through his mind, and a fall of long, silky white hair. Butterflies in winter? It would be perfect- everything he did was. Lyra wouldn't appreciate it at all- but he would, and it would give him something to smile about.
His sister wouldn't mind, he was sure of it. She'd always been a little vain.
They weren't entirely children- teenagers were closer to demons or angels than humans in their ability to get into trouble and cause massive property damage. But the boys were hanging off his arms and shoulders like spawn half their age, while the girl tickled anything within reach. They were laughing, like they were some sort of normal family- and the woman was standing nearby, leaning in whenever she got the chance, still unsure of her place in the tangle of limbs but slowly gaining confidence. She belonged there as much as anything. They were just a normal family, doing normal family things.
Normal looked weird on Dei. He wore it well (Jance had made a business out of having an eye for what people wore well), but he was Dei- he wore everything well if you left it on him long enough.
The woman had come to be measured for a wedding gown, the girl for a bridesmaid's dress. The boys were there to torment their sister, and Dei was along for the ride.
Winter weddings were good, he decided, digging out his tape measure. They were hopeful. New Year's weddings were even better: they were lucky. The last time he'd measured someone for a dress, he'd witnessed the end of the world. The dress had gotten torn to bits- part of him still hadn't forgiven Opal for that.
Lyra hadn't given him any details on the dress; he'd been told to make something appropriately expensive and impressive. A pair of butterfly wings flashed through his mind, and a fall of long, silky white hair. Butterflies in winter? It would be perfect- everything he did was. Lyra wouldn't appreciate it at all- but he would, and it would give him something to smile about.
His sister wouldn't mind, he was sure of it. She'd always been a little vain.
Nineteen- Naruto
Being stared down by three pairs of fully matured sharingan eyes wasn't something many people survived to tell about; in fact, just one set of them was usually enough to seal your fate. Kakashi had a hard time believing these were Obito's family members. His teammate had been endlessly cheerful, irritatingly so. He'd been a failure as a ninja, too emotional, too cowardly. (Not too cowardly when it counted, though.) (Those who disobey the regulations and let themselves be ruled by emotion are trash.) (Those who abandon their teammates are worse than trash.)
Kakashi ordered the voices in his head to be silent. Showing any sort of weakness before the Uchiha clan heads would mean death.
And Obito would be pissed if he died. (It would serve you right.) (Worse than trash.) (What a waste...)
Shut up! His left eye- Obito's eye- began to water slightly. (Sorry, we're sorry, there's something in our eye.) (There's always something in our eye, such a fucking cry baby, useless excuse for a ninja...) (You forgot our eyedrops, didn't you? You'll have to pick up some more, 'Baa-san on the corner makes the best, she'll give them to you for a discount.) Quiet. They calmed down, for a moment.
The Uchiha stood over him, eyes spinning slowly, lazily. Sensei had said they couldn't do anything; this hearing was simply a formality. Families had to guard their bloodlines, after all, and it was simply unheard of for an Uchiha to simply give something away, much less something so important. They were stingy around normal people.
Take a good look at those eyes, Sensei, and tell me again that they can't do anything. You can't protect us all. (He'll try. He was good to us.) (Not that you deserved it.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of the murder of your teammate, Uchiha Obito. How do you plead?" The clan head's voice was low, confident, and almost amused. You're not going to survive this, brat.
One of his father's temmates had been an Uchiha. "Not guilty." (We could kill them.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of the theft of the sharingan eye of your teammate, Uchiha Obito. How do you plead?" The branch-family head was no less confident, but his voice was stern. You thought you could get away with this? Fool.
(We should kill them.) Had he knelt before a tribunal like this, accused of risking the village for his own stupid sentimentalism? "Not guilty." (Kill them for what they did to father.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of breaking Law Twenty-five, endagering your mission and all of Hidden Leaf because of it. How do you plead?" The second branch head vibrated with barely suppressed rage and scorn. How dare you?
(I think the White Fang was a hero.) His father might have been proud- but his father was dead. "Guilty."
(No matter what they say...I believed in you. No matter what.) It was a shame he couldn't believe in himself.
There was something in his throat. Something in his eye, too, and rocks were falling, too fast to see, landing in his blindspot. His chest ached.
"Tell us how Obito died." Three points in the sharingan, one for the mind, body, and spirit.
"Tell us how you came by his eye." Three points, one for each of the people he'd failed.
"Tell us how you failed your teammates, your sensei, your mission, your home." One for everyone he'd trusted.
"Tell us." Sensei.
"Tell us." Obito.
"Tell us." Rin.
Bile in the back of his throat choked any answers he might have spoken, had he any answers for them. He bit his tongue to hold back a scream.
"You kneel before us, a thief and a murderer, and yet you have the gall to keep your face covered?"
(I am a ninja. Weakness is unacceptable.) (I know I'll always be a loser...) (There's something in my eye.) Whose eye?
"Remove your mask." He could not move. They removed it for him.
They might as well have stripped him naked. Tears poured from Obito's eye. (I didn't mean it! I didn't want to die!) (I couldn't leave her, she was our friend.) (You were our friend!) (I don't deserve to be a jounin. I'm not a ninja at all.)
"Shut up," he whispered, touching the tears. They weren't his- he never cried, not even when he knew no one could see him. "Stop talking to me." This was his fault- all his fault. He would face this alone. (Father died alone.) SHUT UP.
The voices were silent. He ignored Obito's tears and explained, for the seventh time in half as many days, what happened.
The Uchiha were not impressed. "We had heard of you before, Hatake Kakashi. You are called a genius by many- in our opinion, you resemble your father too much."
The spinning wheels of three sets of sharingan held him fixed in place. Otherwise, he would have gone for the throat.
"We cannot order your execution, even if your guilt is clear to us. Konoha cannot afford losing any of its jounin, particularly not after losing one of its valuable healers as well." (See? Sensei was right.) (They'd be better off killing you.)
"Your theft of the sharingan is made tolerable only by the knowledge that you will be unable to master it properly, and it will prove a distraction that will eventually cause your death."
(Even my family thinks I'm a loser.) (That's not true.) (It's not like there aren't dozens of other, better Uchiha to take my place.) Kakashi was starting to regret accepting Obito's gift. Do you want me to remove you with a kunai? (You'd never get all of us.) I could try.
"You will be kept under close supervision while in the village."
"You will be given only low rank missions until your trustworthiness has been proven."
"You will be given one week to decide whether or not you wish to keep Uchiha Obito's eye and all the consequences that accompany it."
"It's your fault they're dead."
He bit his tongue and looked up sharply, not caring if he was being rude. They hadn't actually said that, had they? The three clan heads stood as still, silent and foreboding as statues. "I will abide by your decisions." Abide by the laws and regulations, or you will be nothing but trash. You're a disgrace, worthless, shameful. (We never thought so.) Who are you? (You can see with us.)
"Of course you will."
Red eyes whirled around him, too fast to see.
"Murderer."
"Thief."
"Trash."
Humiliation burned like a knife through the eye. Whose eye?
(He's not!) (We saved him, it wasn't his fault!) (Liars!)
It's okay. It's not worth it. They're right. There was blood in his mouth, where he'd bitten his tongue. (They're not.) (They are.)
At some point, he'd been left alone in the room, and his knees were starting to ache.
(Are we okay?)
No.
His left eye was tearing again. He rubbed at it, wearily, and replaced his mask. Things could be worse. Sensei was still alive, and maybe when the war was over, they could hang out and...eat ramen, or something. Talk about stuff. He wasn't really sure how these things were supposed to go, wasn't used to the ettiquette of mourning. Ninja didn't mourn, didn't feel emotion, didn't cry.
(We did. We're sorry.)
Kakashi stumbled out of the Uchiha complex, forehead protector askew. He felt like he'd been taken apart and not put back together quite right. He'd go home, and sleep, and tomorrow things would be back to normal. He hadn't slept in nearly a week.
On his way home, though, he'd have to get some of those eyedrops. His right eye was itching now, too.
He stopped by the grave marker, instead, and the voices were silent.
Kakashi ordered the voices in his head to be silent. Showing any sort of weakness before the Uchiha clan heads would mean death.
And Obito would be pissed if he died. (It would serve you right.) (Worse than trash.) (What a waste...)
Shut up! His left eye- Obito's eye- began to water slightly. (Sorry, we're sorry, there's something in our eye.) (There's always something in our eye, such a fucking cry baby, useless excuse for a ninja...) (You forgot our eyedrops, didn't you? You'll have to pick up some more, 'Baa-san on the corner makes the best, she'll give them to you for a discount.) Quiet. They calmed down, for a moment.
The Uchiha stood over him, eyes spinning slowly, lazily. Sensei had said they couldn't do anything; this hearing was simply a formality. Families had to guard their bloodlines, after all, and it was simply unheard of for an Uchiha to simply give something away, much less something so important. They were stingy around normal people.
Take a good look at those eyes, Sensei, and tell me again that they can't do anything. You can't protect us all. (He'll try. He was good to us.) (Not that you deserved it.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of the murder of your teammate, Uchiha Obito. How do you plead?" The clan head's voice was low, confident, and almost amused. You're not going to survive this, brat.
One of his father's temmates had been an Uchiha. "Not guilty." (We could kill them.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of the theft of the sharingan eye of your teammate, Uchiha Obito. How do you plead?" The branch-family head was no less confident, but his voice was stern. You thought you could get away with this? Fool.
(We should kill them.) Had he knelt before a tribunal like this, accused of risking the village for his own stupid sentimentalism? "Not guilty." (Kill them for what they did to father.)
"Hatake Kakashi, you are accused of breaking Law Twenty-five, endagering your mission and all of Hidden Leaf because of it. How do you plead?" The second branch head vibrated with barely suppressed rage and scorn. How dare you?
(I think the White Fang was a hero.) His father might have been proud- but his father was dead. "Guilty."
(No matter what they say...I believed in you. No matter what.) It was a shame he couldn't believe in himself.
There was something in his throat. Something in his eye, too, and rocks were falling, too fast to see, landing in his blindspot. His chest ached.
"Tell us how Obito died." Three points in the sharingan, one for the mind, body, and spirit.
"Tell us how you came by his eye." Three points, one for each of the people he'd failed.
"Tell us how you failed your teammates, your sensei, your mission, your home." One for everyone he'd trusted.
"Tell us." Sensei.
"Tell us." Obito.
"Tell us." Rin.
Bile in the back of his throat choked any answers he might have spoken, had he any answers for them. He bit his tongue to hold back a scream.
"You kneel before us, a thief and a murderer, and yet you have the gall to keep your face covered?"
(I am a ninja. Weakness is unacceptable.) (I know I'll always be a loser...) (There's something in my eye.) Whose eye?
"Remove your mask." He could not move. They removed it for him.
They might as well have stripped him naked. Tears poured from Obito's eye. (I didn't mean it! I didn't want to die!) (I couldn't leave her, she was our friend.) (You were our friend!) (I don't deserve to be a jounin. I'm not a ninja at all.)
"Shut up," he whispered, touching the tears. They weren't his- he never cried, not even when he knew no one could see him. "Stop talking to me." This was his fault- all his fault. He would face this alone. (Father died alone.) SHUT UP.
The voices were silent. He ignored Obito's tears and explained, for the seventh time in half as many days, what happened.
The Uchiha were not impressed. "We had heard of you before, Hatake Kakashi. You are called a genius by many- in our opinion, you resemble your father too much."
The spinning wheels of three sets of sharingan held him fixed in place. Otherwise, he would have gone for the throat.
"We cannot order your execution, even if your guilt is clear to us. Konoha cannot afford losing any of its jounin, particularly not after losing one of its valuable healers as well." (See? Sensei was right.) (They'd be better off killing you.)
"Your theft of the sharingan is made tolerable only by the knowledge that you will be unable to master it properly, and it will prove a distraction that will eventually cause your death."
(Even my family thinks I'm a loser.) (That's not true.) (It's not like there aren't dozens of other, better Uchiha to take my place.) Kakashi was starting to regret accepting Obito's gift. Do you want me to remove you with a kunai? (You'd never get all of us.) I could try.
"You will be kept under close supervision while in the village."
"You will be given only low rank missions until your trustworthiness has been proven."
"You will be given one week to decide whether or not you wish to keep Uchiha Obito's eye and all the consequences that accompany it."
"It's your fault they're dead."
He bit his tongue and looked up sharply, not caring if he was being rude. They hadn't actually said that, had they? The three clan heads stood as still, silent and foreboding as statues. "I will abide by your decisions." Abide by the laws and regulations, or you will be nothing but trash. You're a disgrace, worthless, shameful. (We never thought so.) Who are you? (You can see with us.)
"Of course you will."
Red eyes whirled around him, too fast to see.
"Murderer."
"Thief."
"Trash."
Humiliation burned like a knife through the eye. Whose eye?
(He's not!) (We saved him, it wasn't his fault!) (Liars!)
It's okay. It's not worth it. They're right. There was blood in his mouth, where he'd bitten his tongue. (They're not.) (They are.)
At some point, he'd been left alone in the room, and his knees were starting to ache.
(Are we okay?)
No.
His left eye was tearing again. He rubbed at it, wearily, and replaced his mask. Things could be worse. Sensei was still alive, and maybe when the war was over, they could hang out and...eat ramen, or something. Talk about stuff. He wasn't really sure how these things were supposed to go, wasn't used to the ettiquette of mourning. Ninja didn't mourn, didn't feel emotion, didn't cry.
(We did. We're sorry.)
Kakashi stumbled out of the Uchiha complex, forehead protector askew. He felt like he'd been taken apart and not put back together quite right. He'd go home, and sleep, and tomorrow things would be back to normal. He hadn't slept in nearly a week.
On his way home, though, he'd have to get some of those eyedrops. His right eye was itching now, too.
He stopped by the grave marker, instead, and the voices were silent.
Eighteen- Naruto
Burnout
They called him a genius. Master of a Thousand Techniques, Sharingan Kakashi. Those names didn't mean anything- they weren't even his. The Sharingan wasn't his, the techniques weren't his. They called him a genius anyway, saying he was unmatched in skill and talent.
Obito had called him a heartless jackass. Obito had given up his eye and his life. Kakashi hadn't even given up his mask.
Chuunin at six. Jounin before the age of fifteen. Genius son of the genius White Fang of Konoha. (The disgraced White Fang of Konoha; he still had the weapon his father had killed himself with.)
They half expected him to become hokage when he was younger, but it became clear that he wouldn't. He was lazy and irresponsible. (He spent too much time standing over Obito's grave.) He put no effort into anything at all. (Unless you counted his missions, which were always successful and almost always ended in someone's death.)
He'd been a genius at six, the youngest chuunin to graduate. He'd been a genius at thirteen, the only non-Uchiha sharingan user. He'd been a genius at eighteen, the Copy Nin, master of a thousand jutsu.
At twenty six, he was just a lazy bum whose students couldn't work together. (And by "work together," we obviously mean "keep from killing each other and the members of the village.")
They'd called him a genius, but he'd been too late to save Sasuke.
(Obito would have called him a burnout.)
He still hid his face.
(Obito would have been right.)
They called him a genius. Master of a Thousand Techniques, Sharingan Kakashi. Those names didn't mean anything- they weren't even his. The Sharingan wasn't his, the techniques weren't his. They called him a genius anyway, saying he was unmatched in skill and talent.
Obito had called him a heartless jackass. Obito had given up his eye and his life. Kakashi hadn't even given up his mask.
Chuunin at six. Jounin before the age of fifteen. Genius son of the genius White Fang of Konoha. (The disgraced White Fang of Konoha; he still had the weapon his father had killed himself with.)
They half expected him to become hokage when he was younger, but it became clear that he wouldn't. He was lazy and irresponsible. (He spent too much time standing over Obito's grave.) He put no effort into anything at all. (Unless you counted his missions, which were always successful and almost always ended in someone's death.)
He'd been a genius at six, the youngest chuunin to graduate. He'd been a genius at thirteen, the only non-Uchiha sharingan user. He'd been a genius at eighteen, the Copy Nin, master of a thousand jutsu.
At twenty six, he was just a lazy bum whose students couldn't work together. (And by "work together," we obviously mean "keep from killing each other and the members of the village.")
They'd called him a genius, but he'd been too late to save Sasuke.
(Obito would have called him a burnout.)
He still hid his face.
(Obito would have been right.)
Seventeen- Naruto
-It's been three years.-
-I know. What of it?-
-You're much stronger now.-
-Of course. Soon I won't need you, and I will go defeat my brother.-
-You are so weak, little Uchiha. So determined to do this foolish thing, so full of hate. You want power for all the wrong reasons. But now you have power. And I have you. It's been three years, Uchiha. And I still have you.-
Orochimaru smiled.
Sasuke's last thought was that he should have gone with Naruto.
-I know. What of it?-
-You're much stronger now.-
-Of course. Soon I won't need you, and I will go defeat my brother.-
-You are so weak, little Uchiha. So determined to do this foolish thing, so full of hate. You want power for all the wrong reasons. But now you have power. And I have you. It's been three years, Uchiha. And I still have you.-
Orochimaru smiled.
Sasuke's last thought was that he should have gone with Naruto.
Sixteen- Wake of Wings
There are dragons in his dreams. They fly, bright, metallic colors contrasting against the flat, endless blue of the sky like confetti. They are flying, and he is watching them fly.
*They* are flying, and *he* is watching them fly. None of them fly close enough to the ground to see him. None of them notice him waiting on the ground, watching the sky.
There are dragons in his dreams some nights, and always, he watches them fly.
Drake wakes up with his hands clenched tight into fists and his back aching, skin too tight for his body.
Half an hour later, he feels better, but it will take forever to clean the blood off his shoes.
*They* are flying, and *he* is watching them fly. None of them fly close enough to the ground to see him. None of them notice him waiting on the ground, watching the sky.
There are dragons in his dreams some nights, and always, he watches them fly.
Drake wakes up with his hands clenched tight into fists and his back aching, skin too tight for his body.
Half an hour later, he feels better, but it will take forever to clean the blood off his shoes.
Fifteen- Birds of a Feather, Second Generation
"Merry Christmas!" Tyler grinned at his niece and nephews, welcoming the three of them with a bear hug. He was pleased to note that they hugged back. "We were worried you weren't going to make it in time, Jance was going to leave without you."
"I wasn't. He lies." Jance wore his usual expression of holiday cheer; someone had wrestled him into a Grinch sweater and he looked about as pleased to be there as a cat in a bathtub.
"Merry Christmas! Traffic is bad- the weather's worse and the roads are all blocked off. We've still got enough time to get there, right?" Tristan brushed snowflakes out of his hair and elbowed Carly when she rolled her eyes at him.
"He wasn't even driving- he's been sleeping all day. Merry Christmas, Jance!" Carly liked making the young demon blush; she had a natural talent for it. "Here, we brought booze. Put it somewhere and we'll go."
"Booze! You really are a member of the family. Thanks, Carls." Tyler took the festively colored bag and tried not to smirk at the chubby reindeer on it as he handed it off to one of the menials. "Jance, let the others know we're on our way."
They didn't bother taking a car; they were running just a little too late for that. Tyler made sure the kids got teleported safely, since they were the only ones without the ability to bend space to their whims. Shateiel and Jehudael were waiting for them in the vestibule of the church with Judecca, wearing their Christmas forms like crowns. They were a little more androgynous and a little more beautiful than usual; the glow beneath the angels' skins was golden, a nice contrast to Judecca's silvery sheen. Toby was escorting Lyra on Dei's insistance; she'd wanted to participate, but she wasn't that much a part of the family yet.
Tyler liked her, he really did- he just didn't like what she'd done to his brother. Twenty years was a long time to nurse a broken heart, and sorry didn't heal the limp Dei sometimes walked with when he wasn't sleeping well.
"You kids make sure Jance behaves, okay? Especially you, Carly. And Jim, you ought to keep an eye on Jehudael." Tyler loved making the youngest Carlisle squirm, and nothing made him squirm like Juhee in angel mode. "I'll see you all afterwards, 'kay? Lilith has your seats saved."
Tyler snapped his fingers, because he could, and rematerialized in the orchestra. "Yo. Everybody's here."
"Took you long enough." Dei looked up from his music with a smirk. "We were going to start without you."
"Fuck off, you can't start without me, I've got the melody." Tyler sat down at his stand, glaring.
"Watch your mouth in the house of god, Tyler." Dei's singsong voice was mocking him. Tyler glowered and summoned his trumpet.
"Stop that, both of you. People will stare." Opal smiled at him, and that made everything better. She always made everything better.
"Did Jubal pick an instrument?" Tyler asked, scanning his music.
"Organ. Len keeps giggling whenever he mentions it, because they're both actually twelve year old boys."
"That explains a lot about you, doesn't it?" he teased.
"Keep that up and you don't get to unwrap your Christmas gift until February." She wasn't looking at him anymore, but she was grinning.
"Children! This is a time of love, joy, and happiness! Let us not bicker and argue about who killed who..." Len appeared on the balcony, decked out in robes with a tinny halo dangling lopsidedly over her head.
"Appearing, as always, in your own...special...idiom." Tyler blew his mother in law a kiss. "Lookin' good, Len."
"You say the sweetest things. D'you think the halo's a bit much? Jubal told me to take it off, but then, that wasn't all he was telling me to take off, and I don't think he quite meant it like that, and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to be taking it off in front of *you*, no matter how much you might like it." The halo dropped a little lower over her ears, and her robes suddenly morphed into something a lot less angelic. "We're ready to start whenever you are."
"Cool. I'm ready. Dei?"
"Been ready all day."
"I'll bet you have. Opal?"
"Hang on." She jangled a tuning chord on her cello and made a few minute adjustments to the pegs. "Four-Ten, El Capitan."
"Awesome. I'll go tell Jubal." Len disappeared. A moment later, the lights dimmed.
They'd had to pull a few strings and favors to get the cathedral on Christmas Eve; normally an actual choir would've taken care of the music, but Tyler and Opal were amazingly persuasive when they wanted to be.
The church was full to bursting, but the celebrants quieted down when the lights went down. Jubal started up the organ, soft and low but rising steadily.
Radueriel hadn't led the choirs of heaven in over six thousand years, but her voice was still strong and sweet enough to summon light out of darkness; the five of them hit the opening chord at the same time, and the entire cathedral burned like the sun.
Rejoice, rejoice.
"I wasn't. He lies." Jance wore his usual expression of holiday cheer; someone had wrestled him into a Grinch sweater and he looked about as pleased to be there as a cat in a bathtub.
"Merry Christmas! Traffic is bad- the weather's worse and the roads are all blocked off. We've still got enough time to get there, right?" Tristan brushed snowflakes out of his hair and elbowed Carly when she rolled her eyes at him.
"He wasn't even driving- he's been sleeping all day. Merry Christmas, Jance!" Carly liked making the young demon blush; she had a natural talent for it. "Here, we brought booze. Put it somewhere and we'll go."
"Booze! You really are a member of the family. Thanks, Carls." Tyler took the festively colored bag and tried not to smirk at the chubby reindeer on it as he handed it off to one of the menials. "Jance, let the others know we're on our way."
They didn't bother taking a car; they were running just a little too late for that. Tyler made sure the kids got teleported safely, since they were the only ones without the ability to bend space to their whims. Shateiel and Jehudael were waiting for them in the vestibule of the church with Judecca, wearing their Christmas forms like crowns. They were a little more androgynous and a little more beautiful than usual; the glow beneath the angels' skins was golden, a nice contrast to Judecca's silvery sheen. Toby was escorting Lyra on Dei's insistance; she'd wanted to participate, but she wasn't that much a part of the family yet.
Tyler liked her, he really did- he just didn't like what she'd done to his brother. Twenty years was a long time to nurse a broken heart, and sorry didn't heal the limp Dei sometimes walked with when he wasn't sleeping well.
"You kids make sure Jance behaves, okay? Especially you, Carly. And Jim, you ought to keep an eye on Jehudael." Tyler loved making the youngest Carlisle squirm, and nothing made him squirm like Juhee in angel mode. "I'll see you all afterwards, 'kay? Lilith has your seats saved."
Tyler snapped his fingers, because he could, and rematerialized in the orchestra. "Yo. Everybody's here."
"Took you long enough." Dei looked up from his music with a smirk. "We were going to start without you."
"Fuck off, you can't start without me, I've got the melody." Tyler sat down at his stand, glaring.
"Watch your mouth in the house of god, Tyler." Dei's singsong voice was mocking him. Tyler glowered and summoned his trumpet.
"Stop that, both of you. People will stare." Opal smiled at him, and that made everything better. She always made everything better.
"Did Jubal pick an instrument?" Tyler asked, scanning his music.
"Organ. Len keeps giggling whenever he mentions it, because they're both actually twelve year old boys."
"That explains a lot about you, doesn't it?" he teased.
"Keep that up and you don't get to unwrap your Christmas gift until February." She wasn't looking at him anymore, but she was grinning.
"Children! This is a time of love, joy, and happiness! Let us not bicker and argue about who killed who..." Len appeared on the balcony, decked out in robes with a tinny halo dangling lopsidedly over her head.
"Appearing, as always, in your own...special...idiom." Tyler blew his mother in law a kiss. "Lookin' good, Len."
"You say the sweetest things. D'you think the halo's a bit much? Jubal told me to take it off, but then, that wasn't all he was telling me to take off, and I don't think he quite meant it like that, and I'm sure he wouldn't want me to be taking it off in front of *you*, no matter how much you might like it." The halo dropped a little lower over her ears, and her robes suddenly morphed into something a lot less angelic. "We're ready to start whenever you are."
"Cool. I'm ready. Dei?"
"Been ready all day."
"I'll bet you have. Opal?"
"Hang on." She jangled a tuning chord on her cello and made a few minute adjustments to the pegs. "Four-Ten, El Capitan."
"Awesome. I'll go tell Jubal." Len disappeared. A moment later, the lights dimmed.
They'd had to pull a few strings and favors to get the cathedral on Christmas Eve; normally an actual choir would've taken care of the music, but Tyler and Opal were amazingly persuasive when they wanted to be.
The church was full to bursting, but the celebrants quieted down when the lights went down. Jubal started up the organ, soft and low but rising steadily.
Radueriel hadn't led the choirs of heaven in over six thousand years, but her voice was still strong and sweet enough to summon light out of darkness; the five of them hit the opening chord at the same time, and the entire cathedral burned like the sun.
Rejoice, rejoice.
Fourteen- Birds of a Feather, Second Generation
The first time Tristan saw the scars was the night Dee gave him the adoption papers, and even then he didn't see any more than the ones on his arms- long, ropy lines of torn flesh pretending to be limbs.
He saw the rest of them accidentally; he'd come home early from work to find Dee passed out in the hallway in a bathrobe and boxers and *nothing else*, bleeding rather steadily out his nose, ears, and mouth.
He'd called Teia first, of course, knowing that she'd take a few minutes to get there. Anyone else would have appeared immediately.
He'd known in some part of his mind that a lot of horrible things had happened to Dee, but it had never really meant anything to him.
There was hardly a single square inch of unscarred skin; the lines of ropy burn tissue wrapped up his arms and across his chest and back, overlapping older, deeper scars. Some of them were clean and narrow- knife wounds. A few were jagged around the edges as though someone had torn the skin off and tried to paste it back on.
There were three ragged parallel scars on his chest, running from collar bone to navel. They looked like claw marks. He had a bite missing from his left calf, and there were burns all over his legs and feet. None of the scars touched his face or his hands.
He wanted to touch them, was about to touch them, run his hands over the lines and crosses and twists, but Teia appeared over his shoulder before his hand could find a place to settle.
It was probably better that way.
He saw the rest of them accidentally; he'd come home early from work to find Dee passed out in the hallway in a bathrobe and boxers and *nothing else*, bleeding rather steadily out his nose, ears, and mouth.
He'd called Teia first, of course, knowing that she'd take a few minutes to get there. Anyone else would have appeared immediately.
He'd known in some part of his mind that a lot of horrible things had happened to Dee, but it had never really meant anything to him.
There was hardly a single square inch of unscarred skin; the lines of ropy burn tissue wrapped up his arms and across his chest and back, overlapping older, deeper scars. Some of them were clean and narrow- knife wounds. A few were jagged around the edges as though someone had torn the skin off and tried to paste it back on.
There were three ragged parallel scars on his chest, running from collar bone to navel. They looked like claw marks. He had a bite missing from his left calf, and there were burns all over his legs and feet. None of the scars touched his face or his hands.
He wanted to touch them, was about to touch them, run his hands over the lines and crosses and twists, but Teia appeared over his shoulder before his hand could find a place to settle.
It was probably better that way.
Thirteen- Vagrant Story
The rain is falling over Lea Monde.
It is the morning after the end of the world, and it is a surprisingly peaceful one. Later, there will be wars, and death, but for now the clouds are hanging like grey velvet curtains over the sky and somewhere deep in a forest that glittered like snow in the sunlight, a bird was singing.
Later, a man with fresh ink on his skin will wake up too late to stop his companion from sacrificing himself for a dead dream. A woman will hold a boy in an awkward embrace while he mourns the loss of his family. A soldier will flee, armed with too much truth for one man to carry, and a ghost will weep over the fresh corpses of those who were once his comrades.
There will be more bloodshed, and lies will be exposed and hidden and exposed again and finally forgotten; ghosts will move on, eventually, and a boy will grow up into a man who will not care who his brother was.
For now, though, the rain is falling over Lea Monde, washing the blood and magic from the stones. It is a quiet rain, soft and steady. It is the day after the end of the world, and the sun is beginning to rise.
It is the morning after the end of the world, and it is a surprisingly peaceful one. Later, there will be wars, and death, but for now the clouds are hanging like grey velvet curtains over the sky and somewhere deep in a forest that glittered like snow in the sunlight, a bird was singing.
Later, a man with fresh ink on his skin will wake up too late to stop his companion from sacrificing himself for a dead dream. A woman will hold a boy in an awkward embrace while he mourns the loss of his family. A soldier will flee, armed with too much truth for one man to carry, and a ghost will weep over the fresh corpses of those who were once his comrades.
There will be more bloodshed, and lies will be exposed and hidden and exposed again and finally forgotten; ghosts will move on, eventually, and a boy will grow up into a man who will not care who his brother was.
For now, though, the rain is falling over Lea Monde, washing the blood and magic from the stones. It is a quiet rain, soft and steady. It is the day after the end of the world, and the sun is beginning to rise.
Twelve- Aggregati
"What do you want here?" The tall student tilted his chin up defiantly. He was surrounded by a group of flunkies, blocking the screens. There were five of them, three boys and two girls. They looked very angry and very young.
Vaz sighed. It would be wrong to rip the boy's throat out, and he knew it would be wrong. So he refrained for the time being and bowed instead. "I'm looking for my test scores and those of my friends who could not make it to the board today. Please move aside so I may find them."
The tall boy sneered but moved. Vaz surveyed the screens, picking out his number and Asha's; once again, they'd both scored at the top of the class, but their scores were segregated from the humans' along with the other Aggregati.
"Whatcha lookin' at that screen for, geshu?" The friendly term was spat like an insult. "You an Ag-lover?"
Vaz looked at the tall boy with carefully blank eyes. "Should it matter? Or should I ask what you scored? It seems the Aggregati students, as a whole, did better than the humans."
"We just don't want our air dirtied by some Ag-loving piece of trash." A shorter girl spat on the sidewalk; her face would have been pretty if not for the ugly sneer on it.
Vaz shifted his bag against his shoulder so the buttons on the strap showed more prominently. If they were as clueless as they seemed, it might help to hit them with a clue-by-four.
"Sst! Lookit the buttons- he is an Ag-lover!" The taller boy narrowed his eyes at the subordinate who spoke but then turned his glare on Vaz.
"I've seen you hanging out with that new trash, the girl-freak. We don't want your filth here." He stepped into Vaz's bubble of personal space, and Vaz could see the energy in him tremble, barely contained.
"That girl-freak is my fiance, Hanabi Asha." Vaz let his own expression turn slightly contemptous. "Do you know the sort of prejudice the Aggregati community suffers on this campus? I'm sure you do, since you're probably responsible for part of it. People like you spread ignorance and hate and force people like Asha into the very situations you hate them for."
"Fuck you, pig fucker!" The tall boy shoved him, and Vaz let himself be shoved. "You can't marry one of those freaks- they're animals. Deviants like you shouldn't be allowed to walk around. You shouldn't be allowed to breathe our air."
"The right of marriage is one of the things we are fighting for, to help ease the stigma of such relationships. The Aggregati are people, no different from you. They never asked to be commissioned, just as you never asked to be born. And, once created, they cannot be uncreated without the same sort of trauma needed to murder a human." Vaz let himself be pushed again, hating himself for bowing into the phsyical intimidation and feeling more than a little silly to be preaching. Asha was better at this than him.
"Ah, my students! How pleasant- I hope you're all pleased with your test scores."
The gang immediately backed away from Vaz and nodded their respect to the professor. Vaz turned and gave the man a full bow. "Professor Savasena. It is an honor."
The wrinkled old man smiled and bowed lower. "Really, your grace, that's not necessary. I was hoping to catch you here before sunset; I wanted to congratulate you on yet another perfect test." The smile in his eyes was a little too sharp as he turned to his other students. "And it's so good to see you getting to know your classmates."
Vaz could have kissed the little man for his understanding. "Indeed. We were just introducing ourselves." He bowed to the little group of ingrates, touching the seal on his forehead. "Aburame Vazani."
The twelve-point mark blossomed outward from his forehead, trailing down his temples and across his face in delicate lotus flower patterns. The seal itself burned a little as it materialized. Vaz resolutely did not smirk when they all realized what, exactly, his seal signified. It was difficult to misinterpret a crown with wings on someone's forehead, after all.
"Your grace." They all bowed as low as possible without kow-towing. Vaz could smell their fear. It was delicious.
"Please, that is unnecessary." He managed a smile that didn't use teeth when they looked up. "You see, you were somewhat innacurate in calling me a lover of Aggregati; such a delineation is redundant when one is already an Aggregate."
"His grace honors our class with his presence and his excellent grades for the duration of his stay on the east coast." Savasena sounded friendly enough, but the reprimand was clear. "Of course, it's natural for one so highly ranked as the Lord of the Eastern Skies' personal assistant to want to keep a low profile, so I'm sure I needn't tell any of you students to be careful of what you say."
"Of course not, professor." The tall one was pale but not cowed.
Savasena smiled again. "Indeed. Have a good evening, children, Your Grace."
Vaz bowed to his professor and smiled at the students with too many teeth when he was gone. "I am not normally the sort to proselytize and picket- I'm not an activist by nature, and politics disinterest me. But you must understand that even being who I am, I cannot marry my fiance. Aggregati are not even allowed to marry each other. So it's a bit of a sore point when someone insults my people and the woman I love in the same breath." He retracted his seal slowly, with more control than most humans would ever manage over their one-point seals. "Some day more than just the Lords will be able to fight back when idiots like you choose to voice your prejudices."
He didn't bow to them in farewell; none of them had showed him their seals, and he outranked them all anyway. He had every right to tear out their throats, in fact, but that would have upset Asha. Sometimes it amused him when he thought about how much he'd changed.
Vaz sighed. It would be wrong to rip the boy's throat out, and he knew it would be wrong. So he refrained for the time being and bowed instead. "I'm looking for my test scores and those of my friends who could not make it to the board today. Please move aside so I may find them."
The tall boy sneered but moved. Vaz surveyed the screens, picking out his number and Asha's; once again, they'd both scored at the top of the class, but their scores were segregated from the humans' along with the other Aggregati.
"Whatcha lookin' at that screen for, geshu?" The friendly term was spat like an insult. "You an Ag-lover?"
Vaz looked at the tall boy with carefully blank eyes. "Should it matter? Or should I ask what you scored? It seems the Aggregati students, as a whole, did better than the humans."
"We just don't want our air dirtied by some Ag-loving piece of trash." A shorter girl spat on the sidewalk; her face would have been pretty if not for the ugly sneer on it.
Vaz shifted his bag against his shoulder so the buttons on the strap showed more prominently. If they were as clueless as they seemed, it might help to hit them with a clue-by-four.
"Sst! Lookit the buttons- he is an Ag-lover!" The taller boy narrowed his eyes at the subordinate who spoke but then turned his glare on Vaz.
"I've seen you hanging out with that new trash, the girl-freak. We don't want your filth here." He stepped into Vaz's bubble of personal space, and Vaz could see the energy in him tremble, barely contained.
"That girl-freak is my fiance, Hanabi Asha." Vaz let his own expression turn slightly contemptous. "Do you know the sort of prejudice the Aggregati community suffers on this campus? I'm sure you do, since you're probably responsible for part of it. People like you spread ignorance and hate and force people like Asha into the very situations you hate them for."
"Fuck you, pig fucker!" The tall boy shoved him, and Vaz let himself be shoved. "You can't marry one of those freaks- they're animals. Deviants like you shouldn't be allowed to walk around. You shouldn't be allowed to breathe our air."
"The right of marriage is one of the things we are fighting for, to help ease the stigma of such relationships. The Aggregati are people, no different from you. They never asked to be commissioned, just as you never asked to be born. And, once created, they cannot be uncreated without the same sort of trauma needed to murder a human." Vaz let himself be pushed again, hating himself for bowing into the phsyical intimidation and feeling more than a little silly to be preaching. Asha was better at this than him.
"Ah, my students! How pleasant- I hope you're all pleased with your test scores."
The gang immediately backed away from Vaz and nodded their respect to the professor. Vaz turned and gave the man a full bow. "Professor Savasena. It is an honor."
The wrinkled old man smiled and bowed lower. "Really, your grace, that's not necessary. I was hoping to catch you here before sunset; I wanted to congratulate you on yet another perfect test." The smile in his eyes was a little too sharp as he turned to his other students. "And it's so good to see you getting to know your classmates."
Vaz could have kissed the little man for his understanding. "Indeed. We were just introducing ourselves." He bowed to the little group of ingrates, touching the seal on his forehead. "Aburame Vazani."
The twelve-point mark blossomed outward from his forehead, trailing down his temples and across his face in delicate lotus flower patterns. The seal itself burned a little as it materialized. Vaz resolutely did not smirk when they all realized what, exactly, his seal signified. It was difficult to misinterpret a crown with wings on someone's forehead, after all.
"Your grace." They all bowed as low as possible without kow-towing. Vaz could smell their fear. It was delicious.
"Please, that is unnecessary." He managed a smile that didn't use teeth when they looked up. "You see, you were somewhat innacurate in calling me a lover of Aggregati; such a delineation is redundant when one is already an Aggregate."
"His grace honors our class with his presence and his excellent grades for the duration of his stay on the east coast." Savasena sounded friendly enough, but the reprimand was clear. "Of course, it's natural for one so highly ranked as the Lord of the Eastern Skies' personal assistant to want to keep a low profile, so I'm sure I needn't tell any of you students to be careful of what you say."
"Of course not, professor." The tall one was pale but not cowed.
Savasena smiled again. "Indeed. Have a good evening, children, Your Grace."
Vaz bowed to his professor and smiled at the students with too many teeth when he was gone. "I am not normally the sort to proselytize and picket- I'm not an activist by nature, and politics disinterest me. But you must understand that even being who I am, I cannot marry my fiance. Aggregati are not even allowed to marry each other. So it's a bit of a sore point when someone insults my people and the woman I love in the same breath." He retracted his seal slowly, with more control than most humans would ever manage over their one-point seals. "Some day more than just the Lords will be able to fight back when idiots like you choose to voice your prejudices."
He didn't bow to them in farewell; none of them had showed him their seals, and he outranked them all anyway. He had every right to tear out their throats, in fact, but that would have upset Asha. Sometimes it amused him when he thought about how much he'd changed.
Eleven- Naruto
NOTES:
First, warnings- lots of the gay, and some citrusy bits, including a few unfinished fragments that really want to grow up to be smut but haven't quite made it yet. Also, Iruka has a potty mind. Mouth too, actually...
This is incomplete- this is pre-beta reader stage, even. It's probably half finished, but when I write something like this, I don't write it in order. The scenes jump without completing and there is very little continuity. So it's a series of fragments that may, someday, become a completed fic. (Probably not; the parts that aren't written aren't written for a reason.)
I've arranged them chronologically, even though I didn't write them that way. The longer the line of dashes, the more story is missing.
Iruka is more than a little insane here, and by insane, I actually mean horribly out of character, violent, and mean. Also, I have no idea where some of the things thinks came from- like I said, this is in the severely unedited stage. I blame this on Kakashi, who is also out of character, because I still can't get a grip on his character unless he's talking to himself.
I'm also taking advantage of kakairu cliche's #231 and #72; Iruka gets pissed off at Kakashi because their personality types are completely opposite, and Iruka meets Kakashi at the grave marker, which eventually leads to sex.
Starts off immediately after Kakashi recovers from his run-in with Itachi, and continues on past Sasuke's stupidity.
-
Iruka hadn't been sure what to expect when Kakashi asked him out for a drink; he hadn't expected the jounin to ply him with sake until he was laughing a little louder than normal and the other man's perverted jokes. He hadn't really expected to be laughing at all, after the recent events in Konoha.
------
He had Iruka pressed against the wall, his one uncovered eye not looking at anything in particular, though his hands seemed to know exactly where to go. Iruka gasped through the muddled haze of sake and sorrow and threaded his fingers through the stiff silver of Kakashi's hair. "Let me kiss you," he whispered, nuzzling the edge of the mask.
Kakashi pulled away suddenly, as though Iruka's voice had burned him. His eye was still unfocused. "No."
Iruka frowned when Kakashi reached for him again. What is this? "Sorry, I don't kiss on the first date, but d'you wanna fuck instead?"
Kakashi's arms still boxed him against the wall, but Iruka had enough control over himself to be furious when one of those arms lowered to rest a hand on his belt. Kakashi took a step closer again, the heat from his body radiating like a furnace. It distracted him for half a moment, but not long enough to keep him from slipping out of Kakashi's grasp with a simple jutsu. Kakashi stared at the pillow in his arms and Iruka slid off the bed. At least some good came of practicing basic jutsu with the children every day.
It irked him a little that the "good" in this situation was avoiding what would have surely been a highly enjoyable grope from another teacher. Still. As unexciting as his sex life had been lately, he wasn't desperate enough to let himself be degraded and used. And it wasn't like he was asking for more than casual sex with a friend, but he was serious about the "friend" part.
"Thank you for the drinks, Hatake-san." He watched Kakashi's shoulders stiffen as the temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees. "I can see myself out."
Kakashi caught up with him at the door, as he'd expected him to. "Why?" Kakashi sounded as frustrated as Iruka felt; imagined that the face under the mask was flushed, lips parted...he stopped imagining. What was the point, if imagining was the only thing he'd be allowed to do? Iruka didn't fool himself into thinking he could force the other ninja to reveal his face.
"I'm sorry, Hatake-san." Even when they'd only spoken to each other three times before, they'd still used one another's first names. He was being petty, but he didn't really care- revenge for the little insults and endless strings of monosyllabic answers was sweet, indeed. "I've never seen the purpose in having sex with faceless strangers."
Iruka's internal scoreboard clicked a little closer to being even; he suddenly had some insight into how Gai must feel. The horror of that notion didn't stop him from taking sadistic pleasure in the fact that he'd left the jounin with nothing but his stupid books and his left hand to keep him company for the night.
The feeling of triumph diminished slightly when Iruka remembered that he didn't even have the dirty books waiting for him in his own apartment. Damn.
------------
They tried again.
In retrospect, it was a little like watching a train wreck: a long, slow descent into an inevitable, explosive, *final* conclusion.
---
Being courted was ...odd. Iruka wasn't used to having anyone other than Naruto waiting for him at the end of the day, and lately he'd seen far too little of his not-quite-adopted son.
------------
They were in Kakashi's apartment again, up against a wall, again, and it still irritated Iruka that Kakashi left so little skin uncovered. So maybe he had a slight oral fixation. There was nothing *wrong* with wanting to chew on someone, not when they made such delicious little noises in the back of their throat, those little hitching gasps- his teeth latched onto an earlobe, just about the only thing Kakashi left uncovered, and he was rewarded with more of those noises. His tongue trailed along the curve of the ear and Kakashi actually *whimpered*.
He left the mask alone; he wasn't going to give himself an excuse to stop.
Kakashi was rock hard against his thigh and his hands were wandering in aimless, shivery patterns beneath Iruka's shirt. Long, clever fingers teased at Iruka's nipples, tickled at his navel, brushed the waistband of his pants.
-*Tease.*- Kakashi's ear was nice, but he wanted more *skin*, and he wasn't going to get it like this. He trailed little biting kisses across Kakashi's cheekbone, feeling long eyelashes flutter against his lips; the jounin was sufficiently distracted to let Iruka get away with undoing his pants.
---------------------------------------
"It's a matter of trust. I trusted you to bring back my family. You didn't. So now you owe me. You also owe me for the sake, the blow job, the underhanded insults, and the presumption that just because you outrank me, I'm going to bend over to do your bidding without wanting a little something for myself." Iruka was amused to see Kakashi looking more than a little taken aback at his matter of fact tone. The jounin was carefully looking at everything but Iruka, the beginning of a blush creeping out from under his mask. "I valued you as a friend, Kakashi. I trusted you, because that's what friendship means.
"You broke that trust, and now you *owe me*."
Kakashi didn't resist the attack; perhaps he wasn't expecting it, perhaps he felt he deserved it, Iruka was tired of trying to figure out how the other man thought- but he didn't fight back when Iruka caught him in an arm lock and bent him over the desk with a kunai at his throat.
"Here's a question, Sharingan Kakashi. Do you trust me not to slit your throat after you've pissed me off this much?" This wasn't a question of whether or not he'd be able to; he knew that if push came to shove, even in their current position, Kakashi could defend himself.
Kakashi's breathing was a little unsteady, stuttered a little with every in drawn breath. Iruka pressed the edge of the knife against his throat a little harder, waiting for an answer. "Well?"
He wasn't sure if he was pleased or annoyed when Kakashi nodded once- just a slight bob of his head so as not to jostle the knife. Iruka sighed and released the other man. The bastard was right, of course. His anger was already gone, replaced by a faint ache between his eyes and in his chest.
Kakashi unkinked his arm but remained bent over. "Iruka-sensei...do you think you could close your eyes for a minute?" His voice was soft.
"Why?"
"Trust me?"
Iruka wanted to hit him again, but he felt that way about Naruto sometimes when the boy had done something particularly stupid and was looking up at him with the expression of a beaten puppy. -Impulse control. Shout and scream as much as you like but *never* raise a hand in anger.- He'd learned that lesson well enough. It disturbed him, however, that Kakashi was reminding him of Naruto while he was bent over a desk with his ass in the air. His mind supplied him with an image of Naruto in Kakashi's place, and Iruka had to stop the sudden impulse to stab himself in the eye.
"Fine." He closed his eyes and heard Kakashi moving, standing in front of him. This would be the part where he kills you, dumbass. Well, he'd made his peace with the world before, and it would've been nice to die doing something important- like protecting Naruto or any of the kids, and it would've been even nicer to die in bed at the age of ninety surrounded by kids and grandkids and greatgrandkids and cousins and family- but, well, at least he'd be able to die saying that he'd gotten to cop a feel off Sharingan Kakashi and-
His train of thought derailed and exploded when Kakashi kissed him. Part of his mind started toasting marshmellows on the wreckage, cheerfully whistling the theme from "The Love Boat." Sometimes he just didn't get his subconscious.
It wasn't the greatest kiss in the history of mankind, and it wasn't a particularly special or intense kiss; it was a little sad, but Iruka hadn't had many sad kisses in his life, so he didn't really notice. However, when Kakashi tried to pull away, Iruka grabbed him and set out to make it the greatest kiss in the history of mankind.
The end result wasn't even in the top ten, but neither of the participants cared.
The part of his mind not involved in the kiss was eating marshmallows and making note of the fact that Kakashi hadn't minded being bent over a desk at knife point. In fact, it seemed like he kind of liked it.
Kind of liked it a lot, actually, unless that was a kunai in the other man's pocket. Iruka checked.
It wasn't.
And afterwards (during which he made Kakashi tell him, in detail, exactly how much he'd enjoyed being bent over that desk, and Iruka came to the conclusion that Kakashi wasn't actually kinky, perverted books aside, he was just lazy, and Kakashi came to the conclusion that Iruka was actually a sadist disguised as a schoolteacher- weren't teachers supposed to be masochists?), it wasn't perfect- the mask was back on when he opened his eyes, and Kakashi was speaking in monosyllables again. But it was a start, sort of.
"You surprise me," Kakashi said unexpectedly while searching for his right sandal under the desk. "Every day, you surprise me, and I'm not really used to that."
"I surprise you?" Kakashi had stolen his hair tie again. Iruka sighed and waited for the jounin to stand up with his footwear before wrestling it off his wrist. "You're the crazy one."
"But everyone knows I'm crazy. They expect it of me. All anyone expects of you is kindness."
All anyone- Years of knowing he'd never be a top-rank ninja and being comfortable with it, damnit, began to crumble at the foundation. Iruka glared. "Saying things that annoy and demean me is pathological for you, isn't it?"
Kakashi's visible eye curved upwards as he shrugged. "Maybe a little. You know I didn't mean it like that, anyway."
"So I surprise you because you expect me to be nice and then I get mad when you try to use me, or insult me?" Iruka crossed his arms over his chest, still glaring.
Kakashi slid his vest on and checked the pockets for his weapons. "You're complicated," he said mildly, with another shrug.
Iruka had been feeling really, really good after the sex. Better than he had in years, if he felt like being honest. Now he was wondering why he hadn't slit the other man's throat when he had the chance. "Yes, Kakashi-san. People are complicated." He spoke very slowly, as though he were trying to explain to a very small child that no, you really were supposed to hold the kunai by the *dull* end. "I am more than my tendency to worry about my students. You, supposedly, are more than your ability to insult, bait, and otherwise piss off the entirety of the world around you. For instance, you're really good at killing things. Like the mood." His glare had turned icy.
The jounin held up his palms in a placating gesture. "Aa. I'll have to work on that. I like you better when you're in the mood." He was still grinning his stupid, mouthless grin.
Iruka bristled and retied his hair with short, jerky motions. "I'm not just some sort of toy you can keep on hand for sex, damnit!"
"Hn." Kakashi was apparently ignoring him, completely engrossed in the pages of a lurid looking Icha-Icha Paradise.
"I take it back," he spat, disgusted. "You really are nothing more than your ability to annoy people." Kakashi looked up sharply, single eye open wide, but Iruka was already on his way out. The chalkboard rattled with the force he used to slam the door.
Bastard. Fucking bastard. I will not be taken for granted. Kakashi could find someone else to help him act out his perverted fantasies with.
It didn't occur to him that the jounin had been trying to apologize in his awkward, bumbling (irritating) manner until he was home and nearly asleep. Iruka buried his head under a pillow and decided not to think about it too much.
-----------------------
*insert a bunch of scenes here*
-----------------------
Kakashi was actually waiting for him when he got to work. Bastard can't be on time unless it's to annoy somebody. His coffee maker had imploded that morning; not only had he burned himself, but he still hadn't had a decent cup of coffee. On any other morning, he might have been feeling more charitable, but not this one. "Can I help you, Kakashi-sensei? You're three weeks behind on your mission reports; you've got a week to catch up before the Hokage starts docking your pay."
The older ninja actually took a step backwards at the venom in Iruka's voice. "We need to talk."
"We have nothing to talk about." Iruka stamped a couple of pay stubs violently. The fact that he was being the immature one didn't help his mood. "I'm busy. Go away."
The stamp and the papers he was stamping were snatched off the desk faster than he could follow. Iruka's eye twitched slightly. "Kakashi-sensei, give me back my paper work. Otherwise I'll be forced to act like a five year old as well, and tell the Hokage on you." Kakashi's eye fell, and Iruka's papers were returned.
"Look, I know you're mad at me."
"Such amazing powers of observation. You are truly deserving of your title as a genius." There was a hand in the middle of his paperwork now. Iruka didn't bother to look at the owner of the hand; he had work to do, after all. Stamp. Stamp. Stamp.
"Ow!"
"Oh, quit looking so surprised, it's not like it's the first time I've hit you with something," Iruka snapped. "Just be glad it wasn't a kunai."
"Would've moved my hand if it'd been a kunai," Kakashi muttered. The words 'payment denied' bled through his glove with bright red ink. "Can't you just tell me what's wrong? Why are you so angry?" He leaned over the desk again, careful to keep his hands out of Iruka's line of stamping.
Iruka snarled and brought the stamp down on Kakashi's forehead protector, snapping the jounin's head back. The ink gleamed wetly as he stood, knocking his chair to the ground. "What's wrong? Are you some sort of moron? You irritate me! You walk around with your superior attitude and your porn and everyone talks about how wonderful you are- Sharingan Kakashi, master of a thousand annoying habits!" Iruka wasn't sure when he'd started shouting, but once he got started, he wasn't in the mood to stop. "You're a pervert who refuses to do any work- at least Jiraiya puts some effort into being a deviant, but you just sit there! You act like the whole world owes you a favor- well it doesn't! You still haven't apologized to me for any of the shit you've done, but that's just because you don't even see what you did wrong! You- You're like a fucking puppy, you just keep showing up at my door with sake, smiling that stupid smile that I can't even see, expecting me to molest you at your whim no matter how many times I kick you!"
"Iruka-sensei, please stop shouting. You're making a scene." Kakashi clearly hadn't been expecting an outburst on this scale. His visible eye was threatening to bug out of its socket as he backed away.
Then he'll have to get another one somewhere! Or maybe he has an extra, he got them two-for-one on sale... The inside of Iruka's head was a little hysterical at the moment. His mouth had disconnected from his brain and he couldn't do anything to stop it. They were attracting a crowd, but he was on a roll.
"I don't care! I've had it, I've fucking had it. This isn't happening anymore. Really great sex isn't worth the migraine I wake up with every morning when I wonder what stupid thing you're going to say the next time I see you. I'm sick of you making my life into a joke just by existing!"
"You know I never meant-"
"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE!"
He hadn't meant to say that. The entire room was silent- the entire room, which now consisted of Tsunade, Asuma, Kurenai, three other faculty members that Iruka didn't know by name and- oh, fuck- Naruto. Iruka took a very deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart before he hit something, and turned to his audience. "What the fuck are you looking at?" he snarled in Asuma's general direction.
The jounin startled, dropped his cigarette, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The room emptied with a speed that only a group of frightened ninja could muster, until Iruka was alone with Kakashi, Tsunade, and Naruto.
Naruto. Fuck.
"Naruto, Iruka. Go home." Tsunade sounded slightly irritated and slightly amused. "Kakashi, meet me in my office." She disappeared as well.
Iruka glared at Kakashi until the jounin shuffled out of the room, leaving him alone with Naruto. Fuck he thought one last time, for good measure, as he slumped onto one of the couches. His head hurt, and he couldn't look the boy in the eye. "Hey, Naruto," he began. "Do...do you want to go out for ramen?" Hopefully he didn't sound as desperate as he thought he did.
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei, but I'm not really hungry."
Iruka's head snapped up. Naruto looked blank. He never looked blank, and he was never not hungry for ramen. "Are you sure?"
The boy managed a sickly sort of smile and a half-shrug. "I haven't been all that hungry lately."
Of course he hadn't, not after Sasuke- Don't think about that. "Well, if you start to feel hungry, you know where to find me, okay?"
Naruto shrugged again. "Maybe later, Iruka-sensei." He turned to go and lifted his hand in farewell. "See you."
"Yeah. Later."
It was ten in the morning. Iruka decided there was no possible better time to get very, very drunk.
------------------
"I kind of thought we'd gotten past the screaming part that didn't involve sex." Iruka had locked his door and his windows, but it would take more than a simple dead bolt to keep Kakashi out.
There was no answer.
"Tsunade said that if I didn't find some way to apologize, she'd kick my ass so hard I'd be walking funny for a month. She's a scary old lady when she wants to be." Iruka seemed to be amazingly drunk. He didn't respond when Kakashi poked him in the forehead. "Are you even awake?"
Iruka didn't answer again, didn't even twitch. "So it's okay if I take off all your clothes and ravish you on the kitchen table with all the windows and doors open so the neighbors can see us?" He stole Iruka's hair tie and began playing with the other man's hair, teasing. Still no response, just the steady breathing of the insensate.
Kakashi sighed and sat down next to Iruka's chair, leaning his head against the other man's thigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Too much effort. I'd probably enjoy it, and maybe you would too, but...well, you're right. I don't put much effort into being a pervert. I'm sorry I make you do all the work." No I'm not. He hoped Iruka would forgive a few little lies.
He'd never actually been in Iruka's apartment before; the place was smaller than his own, and more cluttered. The kitchen table was practically in the bedroom; with his legs stretched out in front of him, his toes could nearly reach the bed. Every availible surface was covered in pictures and flimsy little trinkets- gifts from his younger students.
"You're cute when you sleep, you know. You aren't most of the time-" He laughed bitterly. "That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? You're too sensitive, you know I never mean those to be insults. But we can keep track, and I'll do something really nice for every five times I'm a jerk. Buy you dinner, do your laundry or something. Maybe every three times? You'd probably try to kill me again by five, and I can never tell when you're being serious..."
"Don't get mad for that one, though- you hate being called cute, and it's not fair to get mad at me for saying you aren't," he continued, conversationally, to Iruka's foot. "I like the way you look. Maybe I should tell you that more often? Is that what you want to hear? I think you're sexy. I think you look good- strong, solid. I like that." Iruka's foot didn't answer. Kakashi sighed again. Why was it so hard to have a conversation with things these days? Possibly he should have spent less time at the bar with Tsunade before coming over.
"Tsunade says were not allowed to act like five year olds with crushes in the mission debriefing room ever again." He looked up; he couldn't see Iruka's face, but he had a pretty good view of his elbow. It's a nice elbow, when it's not hitting me. "I don't know how a five year old with a crush is supposed to act. I think I skipped those years.
"Tsunade also says you're in love with me." His chest tightened around the words. "I know it's not true, but maybe you could let me pretend for a little while? If you still want to see me, of course," he added, knowing that Iruka wasn't going to fall for the kicked puppy thing too often anymore. "I mean, the sex is really great, right? I could just keep my mouth shut and pretend you wanted me, and you'd still be doing all the work but you don't really mind, do you?"
Iruka's foot ignored him pointedly. "I shouldn't have come here," he said somberly to the table leg. "He'll just be pissed that I sat here and talked to his foot while he was passed out over the table."
The table leg commiserated wonderfully. Kakashi patted it affectionately. "I don't think his foot will want to see me again either, but it's a nice thought." He considered moving, but Iruka's leg made a very comfortable pillow, and he didn't want the table leg to think he was snubbing it.
He was tired. It had been a long day- after yelling at him, Tsunade had made him finish his mission reports. All three weeks worth of them. And then she'd dragged him to the bar and now he was here, having a deep and meaningful conversation about his feelings with Iruka's foot. A shame the rest of him is unconscious and not listening. But there's no way this would be happening if he were awake and I were sober.
"I don't want to go home. Even your floor is more comfortable than my bed." When it's empty. He didn't think he really needed to voice the end of that statement; it went without saying, didn't it? Maybe it didn't. Iruka had a hard time deceiphering the things he didn't say. "It's not that my bed is uncomfortable, or that your floor is soft, it's just that it's your floor," he explained to Iruka's foot and the table leg. "And that seriously makes all the difference."
He closed his eyes and leaned back again. "Please don't hate me for wanting to stay," he whispered.
Kakashi woke up in Iruka's bed, without Iruka and with a hangover that could have been much worse, all things considered. He distincly remembered his conversation with the table leg, so by all rights he certainly deserved much worse.
Iruka's bed was comfortable, and it smelled like Iruka. Tsunade wouldn't let him go back to work until he'd fixed things, somehow. Kakashi sighed, turned over, and went back to sleep.
-------------
"I guess I'll just sit out here and eat this ramen all by myself. I ordered too much of it, though- five miso ramens, three pork, one beef...there's no way I'll be able to eat it all before it gets cold, I'll make myself sick." Iruka slumped against the wall beside Naruto's door and dug out a pair of chopsticks. He twiddled with them for a moment, then broke them apart and poked morosely at a container of beef ramen. He'd spent most of his food budget for the week on this; if Naruto didn't come out, he'd be stuck eating noodles for the next five days, and that thought really didn't sit well with his stomach. "Mmm, ramen. Nice, hot ramen, fresh from Ichiraku..."
He wasn't really hungry; he hadn't been for several days, not since the last time he and Kakashi...never mind. He'd have to apologize at some point, for loosing his temper in the meeting room. It wasn't Kakashi's fault he was on edge lately, not really- the jounin couldn't help being himself, just like Iruka couldn't help being more high strung than was healthy.
-He'd probably say that I wasn't getting enough sex, and then he'd offer to help with that problem.- Incorrigible, that was the word. Kakashi was completely incorrigible. -He could do with some corriging.- Iruka blushed, able to imagine in perfect detail what Kakashi would decide that entailed.
"I'm perfectly willing to sit out here all night, you know. The only reason I haven't broken down the door is because neither of us could afford to fix a broken door right now. I'd try for a window, but I'm not a good enough ninja to sneak in with nine cartons of ramen in my arms." He could hear Naruto sitting on the other side of the door, waiting.
"Go away, Iruka-sensei."
Ah. Naruto was crying. Iruka felt something tighten in his chest. "Unlock the door, Naruto. That's an order." He held his breath, unsure if it would work.
A moment later, the lock clicked. Iruka leapt up and had his foot in the door before Naruto could change his mind, juggling far too much ramen. The inside of the apartment was pitch black, but he could sense Naruto's chakra and hear him breathing, curled in a tiny ball of misery near the door. Iruka fumbled for the light switch; a lone, bare lightbulb sputtered to life.
He set the ramen down and toed off his sandals. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really." A sniffle.
"Me neither. When's the last time you ate?"
"Three days." Another sniffle.
Iruka very carefully did not punch a hole through something. He wouldn't be able to manage the right angle to hit his own head, anyway. He dug around in the bags and came up with a carton of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. He shoved them in Naruto's direction and retrieved his own carton, sitting on the floor next to the boy.
"Eat. You'll feel better."
"Won't."
"I can make you eat, and you won't like it." The whole world was going crazy around the edges. Iruka wasn't sure if he should be pissed or devastated. "Come on, this is ramen that you're wasting. Please eat it? At this point, you're my last hope for the universe- if you've stopped eating ramen, then I know we're doomed."
That got him a slightly sniffly giggle. "I knew it. It's the apocalypse, the world is ending. Uzumaki Naruto is denying ramen when it's right in front of his face. We're all going to die."
Naruto glared at him. Iruka managed a half-assed grin. "You think I'm joking, but I'm not. This is just the last of many signs."
"The first one being you and Kakashi?" Naruto reached for the ramen and began picking half heartedly at it.
Iruka tried not to feel like he'd been punched in the gut. "No, actually," he said lightly. "The first one was you passing the first two parts of the chuunin exam."
"Hey! Iruka-sensei! Have some confidence in your former students, huh? I'm gonna be Hokage someday, of course I'm gonna pass those tests no problem!"
"Oh, good, you're eating. Guess we're all safe." They both looked into their noodles as though they'd become the most fascinating things on the planet. Naruto scarfed his down in record time, and went digging for another carton. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You shouldn't have seen that, and you have every right to be mad at me."
"I'm not mad, Iruka-sensei. It's none of my business, right? What two people do together..." Naruto leaned against his shoulder as he ate, snuggling for the sake of body contact. Iruka indulged him and pulled the boy close. Naruto was staring at his ramen with a blush creeping across his face. "H-how long have you been..."
"Not long. Not really. On and off for a few weeks...nearly a month, on and off." Iruka stared at his toes, distracted. "Things were difficult at first, and that never really changed. I'm sorry."
Naruto leaned his head on Iruka's shoulder. "I'm not mad," he said again. "I guess...I just wasn't expecting it? The two of you. I mean, you're so..."
"Fussy? Anal-retentive? Stuck-up? Bitchy?" Iruka supplied. At least Naruto wasn't upset over the fact that Kakashi was a man.
Naruto blushed. "No! You're a great person, Iruka-sensei. And he's not. He's a bastard, and a pervert and he's a crappy teacher."
"You liked him as a teacher well enough before. And you hated it when I kept failing you."
"That's beside the point! I've seen you get mad at your students, hell, you got mad at me enough...but you were never *that* mad. Whatever he did, it wasn't worth it if it upset you that much." The innocent sincerity in his eyes brought that annoying ache back to Iruka's chest. "You don't do that to someone you love."
"It- it doesn't always work like that, Naruto. We don't love each other." Naruto stiffened beside him.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry." -What right do you have to break his innocence any further? He doesn't need this right now. ...but if I'm not here for him, who will be? Even if I fuck things up like this, he'll still need me.- And oh, it was good to feel needed. So very, very good.
"Then why-"
"It doesn't really matter, does it? It's over now. We aren't seeing each other anymore. It was just a convenient- whatever it was. It was convenient, and now it isn't, so it's over." He wished he'd thought to bring something to drink; his throat was starting to close up. Too much chili in the ramen, or something...
"Is that what you wanted? Iruka-sensei? Are you crying, Iruka-sensei?"
He scrubbed furiously at his face. "I don't know anymore. I just- I don't know. I'm sorry."
-------------
His eyes were still closed. Iruka traced the line of the scar through his eye with his thumb. He knew this face already; he'd touched it in the darkness and kissed it with his eyes closed. He knew this mouth, the way it laughed and the way it frowned. He knew the scar on the chin that cut into the slightly chapped lower lip. He'd tasted the little notch in the skin there; now he touched it lightly with his index finger.
"I've been unreasonable, haven't I? I was so afraid you were just using me, it never ocurred to me that I was doing the same to you. I'm sorry. After all the things I've done, I don't deserve you."
"Do you love me?"
Iruka kissed him.
"Hey, I'm serious. I want to know." Kakashi held him at arms length and looked up at him through his hair. "Do you?"
Iruka touched his face again, tracing the lines of it, and brushed the hair away from his eyes. Kakashi flinched almost imperceptibly, but without his mask he was as open and vulnerable as it was possible for him to be. "I don't think so." He kissed the edge of the scar through Kakashi's eye. "But I could be wrong."
His expression didn't change much, but the pupil of his blue eye contracted to a pinpoint and the marks in his sharingan trembled. Iruka figured it was the equivalent of watching him burst into tears. Part of him enjoyed the sight. The rest of him felt sick.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that- gods, I'm as bad as you are..." He pulled Kakashi to him even as the other man tried to pull away. "This isn't a game anymore, too many people end up getting hurt that way."
"Shh, shh..." he rocked back and forth gently, rubbing circles over Kakashi's back. "It's okay..."
"Please be wrong." Kakashi buried his face in Iruka's shoulder and clung like a drowning man. "Please, please be wrong." He repeated it like a mantra.
-Why couldn't you just say it?- He opened his mouth but no words came out. -Ah. That's why.-
"We've been living at right angles to each other, have you noticed? Every time we talk, it's like we're having two separate conversations, and I can't stand it. I can't stand it when you ignore me and I can't stand it when you look at me. You make my skin crawl and all I ever want to do is touch you, everywhere, all the time. I want you, but I don't want you anywhere near me."
"I don't even know what I want."
"I think that makes two of us."
"I think I love you."
"I don't know what to think anymore."
Kakashi cupped his face in calloused hands and brushed away the tears Iruka hadn't even noticed falling. "Stop thinking. Please."
It was the "please" that undid him; faced with the vulnerability of a man he'd thought was impervious to everything, Iruka felt his whole world tilting, tilting...he ended up falling into Kakashi's arms.
First, warnings- lots of the gay, and some citrusy bits, including a few unfinished fragments that really want to grow up to be smut but haven't quite made it yet. Also, Iruka has a potty mind. Mouth too, actually...
This is incomplete- this is pre-beta reader stage, even. It's probably half finished, but when I write something like this, I don't write it in order. The scenes jump without completing and there is very little continuity. So it's a series of fragments that may, someday, become a completed fic. (Probably not; the parts that aren't written aren't written for a reason.)
I've arranged them chronologically, even though I didn't write them that way. The longer the line of dashes, the more story is missing.
Iruka is more than a little insane here, and by insane, I actually mean horribly out of character, violent, and mean. Also, I have no idea where some of the things thinks came from- like I said, this is in the severely unedited stage. I blame this on Kakashi, who is also out of character, because I still can't get a grip on his character unless he's talking to himself.
I'm also taking advantage of kakairu cliche's #231 and #72; Iruka gets pissed off at Kakashi because their personality types are completely opposite, and Iruka meets Kakashi at the grave marker, which eventually leads to sex.
Starts off immediately after Kakashi recovers from his run-in with Itachi, and continues on past Sasuke's stupidity.
-
Iruka hadn't been sure what to expect when Kakashi asked him out for a drink; he hadn't expected the jounin to ply him with sake until he was laughing a little louder than normal and the other man's perverted jokes. He hadn't really expected to be laughing at all, after the recent events in Konoha.
------
He had Iruka pressed against the wall, his one uncovered eye not looking at anything in particular, though his hands seemed to know exactly where to go. Iruka gasped through the muddled haze of sake and sorrow and threaded his fingers through the stiff silver of Kakashi's hair. "Let me kiss you," he whispered, nuzzling the edge of the mask.
Kakashi pulled away suddenly, as though Iruka's voice had burned him. His eye was still unfocused. "No."
Iruka frowned when Kakashi reached for him again. What is this? "Sorry, I don't kiss on the first date, but d'you wanna fuck instead?"
Kakashi's arms still boxed him against the wall, but Iruka had enough control over himself to be furious when one of those arms lowered to rest a hand on his belt. Kakashi took a step closer again, the heat from his body radiating like a furnace. It distracted him for half a moment, but not long enough to keep him from slipping out of Kakashi's grasp with a simple jutsu. Kakashi stared at the pillow in his arms and Iruka slid off the bed. At least some good came of practicing basic jutsu with the children every day.
It irked him a little that the "good" in this situation was avoiding what would have surely been a highly enjoyable grope from another teacher. Still. As unexciting as his sex life had been lately, he wasn't desperate enough to let himself be degraded and used. And it wasn't like he was asking for more than casual sex with a friend, but he was serious about the "friend" part.
"Thank you for the drinks, Hatake-san." He watched Kakashi's shoulders stiffen as the temperature in the room seemed to drop ten degrees. "I can see myself out."
Kakashi caught up with him at the door, as he'd expected him to. "Why?" Kakashi sounded as frustrated as Iruka felt; imagined that the face under the mask was flushed, lips parted...he stopped imagining. What was the point, if imagining was the only thing he'd be allowed to do? Iruka didn't fool himself into thinking he could force the other ninja to reveal his face.
"I'm sorry, Hatake-san." Even when they'd only spoken to each other three times before, they'd still used one another's first names. He was being petty, but he didn't really care- revenge for the little insults and endless strings of monosyllabic answers was sweet, indeed. "I've never seen the purpose in having sex with faceless strangers."
Iruka's internal scoreboard clicked a little closer to being even; he suddenly had some insight into how Gai must feel. The horror of that notion didn't stop him from taking sadistic pleasure in the fact that he'd left the jounin with nothing but his stupid books and his left hand to keep him company for the night.
The feeling of triumph diminished slightly when Iruka remembered that he didn't even have the dirty books waiting for him in his own apartment. Damn.
------------
They tried again.
In retrospect, it was a little like watching a train wreck: a long, slow descent into an inevitable, explosive, *final* conclusion.
---
Being courted was ...odd. Iruka wasn't used to having anyone other than Naruto waiting for him at the end of the day, and lately he'd seen far too little of his not-quite-adopted son.
------------
They were in Kakashi's apartment again, up against a wall, again, and it still irritated Iruka that Kakashi left so little skin uncovered. So maybe he had a slight oral fixation. There was nothing *wrong* with wanting to chew on someone, not when they made such delicious little noises in the back of their throat, those little hitching gasps- his teeth latched onto an earlobe, just about the only thing Kakashi left uncovered, and he was rewarded with more of those noises. His tongue trailed along the curve of the ear and Kakashi actually *whimpered*.
He left the mask alone; he wasn't going to give himself an excuse to stop.
Kakashi was rock hard against his thigh and his hands were wandering in aimless, shivery patterns beneath Iruka's shirt. Long, clever fingers teased at Iruka's nipples, tickled at his navel, brushed the waistband of his pants.
-*Tease.*- Kakashi's ear was nice, but he wanted more *skin*, and he wasn't going to get it like this. He trailed little biting kisses across Kakashi's cheekbone, feeling long eyelashes flutter against his lips; the jounin was sufficiently distracted to let Iruka get away with undoing his pants.
---------------------------------------
"It's a matter of trust. I trusted you to bring back my family. You didn't. So now you owe me. You also owe me for the sake, the blow job, the underhanded insults, and the presumption that just because you outrank me, I'm going to bend over to do your bidding without wanting a little something for myself." Iruka was amused to see Kakashi looking more than a little taken aback at his matter of fact tone. The jounin was carefully looking at everything but Iruka, the beginning of a blush creeping out from under his mask. "I valued you as a friend, Kakashi. I trusted you, because that's what friendship means.
"You broke that trust, and now you *owe me*."
Kakashi didn't resist the attack; perhaps he wasn't expecting it, perhaps he felt he deserved it, Iruka was tired of trying to figure out how the other man thought- but he didn't fight back when Iruka caught him in an arm lock and bent him over the desk with a kunai at his throat.
"Here's a question, Sharingan Kakashi. Do you trust me not to slit your throat after you've pissed me off this much?" This wasn't a question of whether or not he'd be able to; he knew that if push came to shove, even in their current position, Kakashi could defend himself.
Kakashi's breathing was a little unsteady, stuttered a little with every in drawn breath. Iruka pressed the edge of the knife against his throat a little harder, waiting for an answer. "Well?"
He wasn't sure if he was pleased or annoyed when Kakashi nodded once- just a slight bob of his head so as not to jostle the knife. Iruka sighed and released the other man. The bastard was right, of course. His anger was already gone, replaced by a faint ache between his eyes and in his chest.
Kakashi unkinked his arm but remained bent over. "Iruka-sensei...do you think you could close your eyes for a minute?" His voice was soft.
"Why?"
"Trust me?"
Iruka wanted to hit him again, but he felt that way about Naruto sometimes when the boy had done something particularly stupid and was looking up at him with the expression of a beaten puppy. -Impulse control. Shout and scream as much as you like but *never* raise a hand in anger.- He'd learned that lesson well enough. It disturbed him, however, that Kakashi was reminding him of Naruto while he was bent over a desk with his ass in the air. His mind supplied him with an image of Naruto in Kakashi's place, and Iruka had to stop the sudden impulse to stab himself in the eye.
"Fine." He closed his eyes and heard Kakashi moving, standing in front of him. This would be the part where he kills you, dumbass. Well, he'd made his peace with the world before, and it would've been nice to die doing something important- like protecting Naruto or any of the kids, and it would've been even nicer to die in bed at the age of ninety surrounded by kids and grandkids and greatgrandkids and cousins and family- but, well, at least he'd be able to die saying that he'd gotten to cop a feel off Sharingan Kakashi and-
His train of thought derailed and exploded when Kakashi kissed him. Part of his mind started toasting marshmellows on the wreckage, cheerfully whistling the theme from "The Love Boat." Sometimes he just didn't get his subconscious.
It wasn't the greatest kiss in the history of mankind, and it wasn't a particularly special or intense kiss; it was a little sad, but Iruka hadn't had many sad kisses in his life, so he didn't really notice. However, when Kakashi tried to pull away, Iruka grabbed him and set out to make it the greatest kiss in the history of mankind.
The end result wasn't even in the top ten, but neither of the participants cared.
The part of his mind not involved in the kiss was eating marshmallows and making note of the fact that Kakashi hadn't minded being bent over a desk at knife point. In fact, it seemed like he kind of liked it.
Kind of liked it a lot, actually, unless that was a kunai in the other man's pocket. Iruka checked.
It wasn't.
And afterwards (during which he made Kakashi tell him, in detail, exactly how much he'd enjoyed being bent over that desk, and Iruka came to the conclusion that Kakashi wasn't actually kinky, perverted books aside, he was just lazy, and Kakashi came to the conclusion that Iruka was actually a sadist disguised as a schoolteacher- weren't teachers supposed to be masochists?), it wasn't perfect- the mask was back on when he opened his eyes, and Kakashi was speaking in monosyllables again. But it was a start, sort of.
"You surprise me," Kakashi said unexpectedly while searching for his right sandal under the desk. "Every day, you surprise me, and I'm not really used to that."
"I surprise you?" Kakashi had stolen his hair tie again. Iruka sighed and waited for the jounin to stand up with his footwear before wrestling it off his wrist. "You're the crazy one."
"But everyone knows I'm crazy. They expect it of me. All anyone expects of you is kindness."
All anyone- Years of knowing he'd never be a top-rank ninja and being comfortable with it, damnit, began to crumble at the foundation. Iruka glared. "Saying things that annoy and demean me is pathological for you, isn't it?"
Kakashi's visible eye curved upwards as he shrugged. "Maybe a little. You know I didn't mean it like that, anyway."
"So I surprise you because you expect me to be nice and then I get mad when you try to use me, or insult me?" Iruka crossed his arms over his chest, still glaring.
Kakashi slid his vest on and checked the pockets for his weapons. "You're complicated," he said mildly, with another shrug.
Iruka had been feeling really, really good after the sex. Better than he had in years, if he felt like being honest. Now he was wondering why he hadn't slit the other man's throat when he had the chance. "Yes, Kakashi-san. People are complicated." He spoke very slowly, as though he were trying to explain to a very small child that no, you really were supposed to hold the kunai by the *dull* end. "I am more than my tendency to worry about my students. You, supposedly, are more than your ability to insult, bait, and otherwise piss off the entirety of the world around you. For instance, you're really good at killing things. Like the mood." His glare had turned icy.
The jounin held up his palms in a placating gesture. "Aa. I'll have to work on that. I like you better when you're in the mood." He was still grinning his stupid, mouthless grin.
Iruka bristled and retied his hair with short, jerky motions. "I'm not just some sort of toy you can keep on hand for sex, damnit!"
"Hn." Kakashi was apparently ignoring him, completely engrossed in the pages of a lurid looking Icha-Icha Paradise.
"I take it back," he spat, disgusted. "You really are nothing more than your ability to annoy people." Kakashi looked up sharply, single eye open wide, but Iruka was already on his way out. The chalkboard rattled with the force he used to slam the door.
Bastard. Fucking bastard. I will not be taken for granted. Kakashi could find someone else to help him act out his perverted fantasies with.
It didn't occur to him that the jounin had been trying to apologize in his awkward, bumbling (irritating) manner until he was home and nearly asleep. Iruka buried his head under a pillow and decided not to think about it too much.
-----------------------
*insert a bunch of scenes here*
-----------------------
Kakashi was actually waiting for him when he got to work. Bastard can't be on time unless it's to annoy somebody. His coffee maker had imploded that morning; not only had he burned himself, but he still hadn't had a decent cup of coffee. On any other morning, he might have been feeling more charitable, but not this one. "Can I help you, Kakashi-sensei? You're three weeks behind on your mission reports; you've got a week to catch up before the Hokage starts docking your pay."
The older ninja actually took a step backwards at the venom in Iruka's voice. "We need to talk."
"We have nothing to talk about." Iruka stamped a couple of pay stubs violently. The fact that he was being the immature one didn't help his mood. "I'm busy. Go away."
The stamp and the papers he was stamping were snatched off the desk faster than he could follow. Iruka's eye twitched slightly. "Kakashi-sensei, give me back my paper work. Otherwise I'll be forced to act like a five year old as well, and tell the Hokage on you." Kakashi's eye fell, and Iruka's papers were returned.
"Look, I know you're mad at me."
"Such amazing powers of observation. You are truly deserving of your title as a genius." There was a hand in the middle of his paperwork now. Iruka didn't bother to look at the owner of the hand; he had work to do, after all. Stamp. Stamp. Stamp.
"Ow!"
"Oh, quit looking so surprised, it's not like it's the first time I've hit you with something," Iruka snapped. "Just be glad it wasn't a kunai."
"Would've moved my hand if it'd been a kunai," Kakashi muttered. The words 'payment denied' bled through his glove with bright red ink. "Can't you just tell me what's wrong? Why are you so angry?" He leaned over the desk again, careful to keep his hands out of Iruka's line of stamping.
Iruka snarled and brought the stamp down on Kakashi's forehead protector, snapping the jounin's head back. The ink gleamed wetly as he stood, knocking his chair to the ground. "What's wrong? Are you some sort of moron? You irritate me! You walk around with your superior attitude and your porn and everyone talks about how wonderful you are- Sharingan Kakashi, master of a thousand annoying habits!" Iruka wasn't sure when he'd started shouting, but once he got started, he wasn't in the mood to stop. "You're a pervert who refuses to do any work- at least Jiraiya puts some effort into being a deviant, but you just sit there! You act like the whole world owes you a favor- well it doesn't! You still haven't apologized to me for any of the shit you've done, but that's just because you don't even see what you did wrong! You- You're like a fucking puppy, you just keep showing up at my door with sake, smiling that stupid smile that I can't even see, expecting me to molest you at your whim no matter how many times I kick you!"
"Iruka-sensei, please stop shouting. You're making a scene." Kakashi clearly hadn't been expecting an outburst on this scale. His visible eye was threatening to bug out of its socket as he backed away.
Then he'll have to get another one somewhere! Or maybe he has an extra, he got them two-for-one on sale... The inside of Iruka's head was a little hysterical at the moment. His mouth had disconnected from his brain and he couldn't do anything to stop it. They were attracting a crowd, but he was on a roll.
"I don't care! I've had it, I've fucking had it. This isn't happening anymore. Really great sex isn't worth the migraine I wake up with every morning when I wonder what stupid thing you're going to say the next time I see you. I'm sick of you making my life into a joke just by existing!"
"You know I never meant-"
"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU CARE!"
He hadn't meant to say that. The entire room was silent- the entire room, which now consisted of Tsunade, Asuma, Kurenai, three other faculty members that Iruka didn't know by name and- oh, fuck- Naruto. Iruka took a very deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart before he hit something, and turned to his audience. "What the fuck are you looking at?" he snarled in Asuma's general direction.
The jounin startled, dropped his cigarette, and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The room emptied with a speed that only a group of frightened ninja could muster, until Iruka was alone with Kakashi, Tsunade, and Naruto.
Naruto. Fuck.
"Naruto, Iruka. Go home." Tsunade sounded slightly irritated and slightly amused. "Kakashi, meet me in my office." She disappeared as well.
Iruka glared at Kakashi until the jounin shuffled out of the room, leaving him alone with Naruto. Fuck he thought one last time, for good measure, as he slumped onto one of the couches. His head hurt, and he couldn't look the boy in the eye. "Hey, Naruto," he began. "Do...do you want to go out for ramen?" Hopefully he didn't sound as desperate as he thought he did.
"Thanks, Iruka-sensei, but I'm not really hungry."
Iruka's head snapped up. Naruto looked blank. He never looked blank, and he was never not hungry for ramen. "Are you sure?"
The boy managed a sickly sort of smile and a half-shrug. "I haven't been all that hungry lately."
Of course he hadn't, not after Sasuke- Don't think about that. "Well, if you start to feel hungry, you know where to find me, okay?"
Naruto shrugged again. "Maybe later, Iruka-sensei." He turned to go and lifted his hand in farewell. "See you."
"Yeah. Later."
It was ten in the morning. Iruka decided there was no possible better time to get very, very drunk.
------------------
"I kind of thought we'd gotten past the screaming part that didn't involve sex." Iruka had locked his door and his windows, but it would take more than a simple dead bolt to keep Kakashi out.
There was no answer.
"Tsunade said that if I didn't find some way to apologize, she'd kick my ass so hard I'd be walking funny for a month. She's a scary old lady when she wants to be." Iruka seemed to be amazingly drunk. He didn't respond when Kakashi poked him in the forehead. "Are you even awake?"
Iruka didn't answer again, didn't even twitch. "So it's okay if I take off all your clothes and ravish you on the kitchen table with all the windows and doors open so the neighbors can see us?" He stole Iruka's hair tie and began playing with the other man's hair, teasing. Still no response, just the steady breathing of the insensate.
Kakashi sighed and sat down next to Iruka's chair, leaning his head against the other man's thigh. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Too much effort. I'd probably enjoy it, and maybe you would too, but...well, you're right. I don't put much effort into being a pervert. I'm sorry I make you do all the work." No I'm not. He hoped Iruka would forgive a few little lies.
He'd never actually been in Iruka's apartment before; the place was smaller than his own, and more cluttered. The kitchen table was practically in the bedroom; with his legs stretched out in front of him, his toes could nearly reach the bed. Every availible surface was covered in pictures and flimsy little trinkets- gifts from his younger students.
"You're cute when you sleep, you know. You aren't most of the time-" He laughed bitterly. "That was the wrong thing to say, wasn't it? You're too sensitive, you know I never mean those to be insults. But we can keep track, and I'll do something really nice for every five times I'm a jerk. Buy you dinner, do your laundry or something. Maybe every three times? You'd probably try to kill me again by five, and I can never tell when you're being serious..."
"Don't get mad for that one, though- you hate being called cute, and it's not fair to get mad at me for saying you aren't," he continued, conversationally, to Iruka's foot. "I like the way you look. Maybe I should tell you that more often? Is that what you want to hear? I think you're sexy. I think you look good- strong, solid. I like that." Iruka's foot didn't answer. Kakashi sighed again. Why was it so hard to have a conversation with things these days? Possibly he should have spent less time at the bar with Tsunade before coming over.
"Tsunade says were not allowed to act like five year olds with crushes in the mission debriefing room ever again." He looked up; he couldn't see Iruka's face, but he had a pretty good view of his elbow. It's a nice elbow, when it's not hitting me. "I don't know how a five year old with a crush is supposed to act. I think I skipped those years.
"Tsunade also says you're in love with me." His chest tightened around the words. "I know it's not true, but maybe you could let me pretend for a little while? If you still want to see me, of course," he added, knowing that Iruka wasn't going to fall for the kicked puppy thing too often anymore. "I mean, the sex is really great, right? I could just keep my mouth shut and pretend you wanted me, and you'd still be doing all the work but you don't really mind, do you?"
Iruka's foot ignored him pointedly. "I shouldn't have come here," he said somberly to the table leg. "He'll just be pissed that I sat here and talked to his foot while he was passed out over the table."
The table leg commiserated wonderfully. Kakashi patted it affectionately. "I don't think his foot will want to see me again either, but it's a nice thought." He considered moving, but Iruka's leg made a very comfortable pillow, and he didn't want the table leg to think he was snubbing it.
He was tired. It had been a long day- after yelling at him, Tsunade had made him finish his mission reports. All three weeks worth of them. And then she'd dragged him to the bar and now he was here, having a deep and meaningful conversation about his feelings with Iruka's foot. A shame the rest of him is unconscious and not listening. But there's no way this would be happening if he were awake and I were sober.
"I don't want to go home. Even your floor is more comfortable than my bed." When it's empty. He didn't think he really needed to voice the end of that statement; it went without saying, didn't it? Maybe it didn't. Iruka had a hard time deceiphering the things he didn't say. "It's not that my bed is uncomfortable, or that your floor is soft, it's just that it's your floor," he explained to Iruka's foot and the table leg. "And that seriously makes all the difference."
He closed his eyes and leaned back again. "Please don't hate me for wanting to stay," he whispered.
Kakashi woke up in Iruka's bed, without Iruka and with a hangover that could have been much worse, all things considered. He distincly remembered his conversation with the table leg, so by all rights he certainly deserved much worse.
Iruka's bed was comfortable, and it smelled like Iruka. Tsunade wouldn't let him go back to work until he'd fixed things, somehow. Kakashi sighed, turned over, and went back to sleep.
-------------
"I guess I'll just sit out here and eat this ramen all by myself. I ordered too much of it, though- five miso ramens, three pork, one beef...there's no way I'll be able to eat it all before it gets cold, I'll make myself sick." Iruka slumped against the wall beside Naruto's door and dug out a pair of chopsticks. He twiddled with them for a moment, then broke them apart and poked morosely at a container of beef ramen. He'd spent most of his food budget for the week on this; if Naruto didn't come out, he'd be stuck eating noodles for the next five days, and that thought really didn't sit well with his stomach. "Mmm, ramen. Nice, hot ramen, fresh from Ichiraku..."
He wasn't really hungry; he hadn't been for several days, not since the last time he and Kakashi...never mind. He'd have to apologize at some point, for loosing his temper in the meeting room. It wasn't Kakashi's fault he was on edge lately, not really- the jounin couldn't help being himself, just like Iruka couldn't help being more high strung than was healthy.
-He'd probably say that I wasn't getting enough sex, and then he'd offer to help with that problem.- Incorrigible, that was the word. Kakashi was completely incorrigible. -He could do with some corriging.- Iruka blushed, able to imagine in perfect detail what Kakashi would decide that entailed.
"I'm perfectly willing to sit out here all night, you know. The only reason I haven't broken down the door is because neither of us could afford to fix a broken door right now. I'd try for a window, but I'm not a good enough ninja to sneak in with nine cartons of ramen in my arms." He could hear Naruto sitting on the other side of the door, waiting.
"Go away, Iruka-sensei."
Ah. Naruto was crying. Iruka felt something tighten in his chest. "Unlock the door, Naruto. That's an order." He held his breath, unsure if it would work.
A moment later, the lock clicked. Iruka leapt up and had his foot in the door before Naruto could change his mind, juggling far too much ramen. The inside of the apartment was pitch black, but he could sense Naruto's chakra and hear him breathing, curled in a tiny ball of misery near the door. Iruka fumbled for the light switch; a lone, bare lightbulb sputtered to life.
He set the ramen down and toed off his sandals. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really." A sniffle.
"Me neither. When's the last time you ate?"
"Three days." Another sniffle.
Iruka very carefully did not punch a hole through something. He wouldn't be able to manage the right angle to hit his own head, anyway. He dug around in the bags and came up with a carton of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. He shoved them in Naruto's direction and retrieved his own carton, sitting on the floor next to the boy.
"Eat. You'll feel better."
"Won't."
"I can make you eat, and you won't like it." The whole world was going crazy around the edges. Iruka wasn't sure if he should be pissed or devastated. "Come on, this is ramen that you're wasting. Please eat it? At this point, you're my last hope for the universe- if you've stopped eating ramen, then I know we're doomed."
That got him a slightly sniffly giggle. "I knew it. It's the apocalypse, the world is ending. Uzumaki Naruto is denying ramen when it's right in front of his face. We're all going to die."
Naruto glared at him. Iruka managed a half-assed grin. "You think I'm joking, but I'm not. This is just the last of many signs."
"The first one being you and Kakashi?" Naruto reached for the ramen and began picking half heartedly at it.
Iruka tried not to feel like he'd been punched in the gut. "No, actually," he said lightly. "The first one was you passing the first two parts of the chuunin exam."
"Hey! Iruka-sensei! Have some confidence in your former students, huh? I'm gonna be Hokage someday, of course I'm gonna pass those tests no problem!"
"Oh, good, you're eating. Guess we're all safe." They both looked into their noodles as though they'd become the most fascinating things on the planet. Naruto scarfed his down in record time, and went digging for another carton. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You shouldn't have seen that, and you have every right to be mad at me."
"I'm not mad, Iruka-sensei. It's none of my business, right? What two people do together..." Naruto leaned against his shoulder as he ate, snuggling for the sake of body contact. Iruka indulged him and pulled the boy close. Naruto was staring at his ramen with a blush creeping across his face. "H-how long have you been..."
"Not long. Not really. On and off for a few weeks...nearly a month, on and off." Iruka stared at his toes, distracted. "Things were difficult at first, and that never really changed. I'm sorry."
Naruto leaned his head on Iruka's shoulder. "I'm not mad," he said again. "I guess...I just wasn't expecting it? The two of you. I mean, you're so..."
"Fussy? Anal-retentive? Stuck-up? Bitchy?" Iruka supplied. At least Naruto wasn't upset over the fact that Kakashi was a man.
Naruto blushed. "No! You're a great person, Iruka-sensei. And he's not. He's a bastard, and a pervert and he's a crappy teacher."
"You liked him as a teacher well enough before. And you hated it when I kept failing you."
"That's beside the point! I've seen you get mad at your students, hell, you got mad at me enough...but you were never *that* mad. Whatever he did, it wasn't worth it if it upset you that much." The innocent sincerity in his eyes brought that annoying ache back to Iruka's chest. "You don't do that to someone you love."
"It- it doesn't always work like that, Naruto. We don't love each other." Naruto stiffened beside him.
"Oh."
"I'm sorry." -What right do you have to break his innocence any further? He doesn't need this right now. ...but if I'm not here for him, who will be? Even if I fuck things up like this, he'll still need me.- And oh, it was good to feel needed. So very, very good.
"Then why-"
"It doesn't really matter, does it? It's over now. We aren't seeing each other anymore. It was just a convenient- whatever it was. It was convenient, and now it isn't, so it's over." He wished he'd thought to bring something to drink; his throat was starting to close up. Too much chili in the ramen, or something...
"Is that what you wanted? Iruka-sensei? Are you crying, Iruka-sensei?"
He scrubbed furiously at his face. "I don't know anymore. I just- I don't know. I'm sorry."
-------------
His eyes were still closed. Iruka traced the line of the scar through his eye with his thumb. He knew this face already; he'd touched it in the darkness and kissed it with his eyes closed. He knew this mouth, the way it laughed and the way it frowned. He knew the scar on the chin that cut into the slightly chapped lower lip. He'd tasted the little notch in the skin there; now he touched it lightly with his index finger.
"I've been unreasonable, haven't I? I was so afraid you were just using me, it never ocurred to me that I was doing the same to you. I'm sorry. After all the things I've done, I don't deserve you."
"Do you love me?"
Iruka kissed him.
"Hey, I'm serious. I want to know." Kakashi held him at arms length and looked up at him through his hair. "Do you?"
Iruka touched his face again, tracing the lines of it, and brushed the hair away from his eyes. Kakashi flinched almost imperceptibly, but without his mask he was as open and vulnerable as it was possible for him to be. "I don't think so." He kissed the edge of the scar through Kakashi's eye. "But I could be wrong."
His expression didn't change much, but the pupil of his blue eye contracted to a pinpoint and the marks in his sharingan trembled. Iruka figured it was the equivalent of watching him burst into tears. Part of him enjoyed the sight. The rest of him felt sick.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that- gods, I'm as bad as you are..." He pulled Kakashi to him even as the other man tried to pull away. "This isn't a game anymore, too many people end up getting hurt that way."
"Shh, shh..." he rocked back and forth gently, rubbing circles over Kakashi's back. "It's okay..."
"Please be wrong." Kakashi buried his face in Iruka's shoulder and clung like a drowning man. "Please, please be wrong." He repeated it like a mantra.
-Why couldn't you just say it?- He opened his mouth but no words came out. -Ah. That's why.-
"We've been living at right angles to each other, have you noticed? Every time we talk, it's like we're having two separate conversations, and I can't stand it. I can't stand it when you ignore me and I can't stand it when you look at me. You make my skin crawl and all I ever want to do is touch you, everywhere, all the time. I want you, but I don't want you anywhere near me."
"I don't even know what I want."
"I think that makes two of us."
"I think I love you."
"I don't know what to think anymore."
Kakashi cupped his face in calloused hands and brushed away the tears Iruka hadn't even noticed falling. "Stop thinking. Please."
It was the "please" that undid him; faced with the vulnerability of a man he'd thought was impervious to everything, Iruka felt his whole world tilting, tilting...he ended up falling into Kakashi's arms.
Ten- Naruto (kakairu)
There was just enough moonlight sliding through the window for Iruka to see the scars on Kakashi's shoulder. He traced them absently with lazy fingers. "You became a jounin at the age of twelve, right?" His voice was soft around the edges with sleep. Kakashi grunted in reply, mostly asleep himself. "How many people have seen your face since then?"
The jounin's body tightened like a wire; Iruka felt it immediately, being draped across the slender man's back like a slightly sticky blanket. His hands automatically sought out knots of tension, instictively seeking to soothe.
"I'm sorry." He pressed his nose into the juncture of collar bone and neck, still trying to stroke the tension away with his hands. His curiosity was stealthier than his common sense, particularly on nights like this when he was warm and sated and curled around his lover. He usually managed to stop himself from asking stupid questions before they could ruin things. "You don't have to answer, it's none of my business."
Kakashi shifted beneath him, turning until they were face to face, their bodies fitting together neatly. His eyes were closed but his fingers found the scar across Iruka's face by instinct, tracing it lightly. Iruka kissed the palm of his hand in apology.
His voice was low, and his hands stilled, resting on Iruka's cheekbones. His fingers ticked off the names against Iruka's face. "Tsunade. One healer nin. Sandaime. Three members of the Uchiha clan, all of whom are dead. Yondaime. Rin. Obito." He opened his eyes, the stolen sharingan lost in shadow. "You."
Iruka kissed him, fierce and possessive, trusting his body to say what words could not.
The jounin's body tightened like a wire; Iruka felt it immediately, being draped across the slender man's back like a slightly sticky blanket. His hands automatically sought out knots of tension, instictively seeking to soothe.
"I'm sorry." He pressed his nose into the juncture of collar bone and neck, still trying to stroke the tension away with his hands. His curiosity was stealthier than his common sense, particularly on nights like this when he was warm and sated and curled around his lover. He usually managed to stop himself from asking stupid questions before they could ruin things. "You don't have to answer, it's none of my business."
Kakashi shifted beneath him, turning until they were face to face, their bodies fitting together neatly. His eyes were closed but his fingers found the scar across Iruka's face by instinct, tracing it lightly. Iruka kissed the palm of his hand in apology.
His voice was low, and his hands stilled, resting on Iruka's cheekbones. His fingers ticked off the names against Iruka's face. "Tsunade. One healer nin. Sandaime. Three members of the Uchiha clan, all of whom are dead. Yondaime. Rin. Obito." He opened his eyes, the stolen sharingan lost in shadow. "You."
Iruka kissed him, fierce and possessive, trusting his body to say what words could not.
Nine- Naruto
Being hungry made Ino feel pretty; sometimes it was the only thing that made her feel pretty, especially when Sasuke was ignoring her.
Being hungry made Chouji feel stupid and slow and ugly, particularly when he was next to Ino or anywhere near Asuma-sensei.
Being hungry made Shikamaru get a snack while they were taking a break during training; he came back with a bag of potato chips and an apple. Ino and Chouji were leaning against opposite sides of a tree, ignoring each other and their growling stomachs. He saw the longing and shameful looks in his teammates' faces and muttered something under his breath that may or may not have been, "...pains in the ass." Did he have to do everything for them?
"Here. You need to eat more healthy stuff." He gave the apple to Chouji. "And you need to eat more." He gave the chips to Ino, and sat between them, leaning against the tree. He could see the clouds between the branches.
Ino stared at the bag of chips as though it had grown arms and legs and begun dancing. "But Sasuke-kun likes skinny girls." She sounded a little lost.
"Eat." It wasn't a request, it was a command. "Uchiha isn't here. And I don't like skinny girls- or boys." He tilted his head back to watch the clouds.
Ino flushed a little and opened the bag. She offered some to Chouji first, who gave her half of the apple in return. Shikamaru chewed on a piece of gum he'd found in the bottom of his pocket and felt the warmth from his teammates as they moved a little closer.
The view was pretty nice from here.
Being hungry made Chouji feel stupid and slow and ugly, particularly when he was next to Ino or anywhere near Asuma-sensei.
Being hungry made Shikamaru get a snack while they were taking a break during training; he came back with a bag of potato chips and an apple. Ino and Chouji were leaning against opposite sides of a tree, ignoring each other and their growling stomachs. He saw the longing and shameful looks in his teammates' faces and muttered something under his breath that may or may not have been, "...pains in the ass." Did he have to do everything for them?
"Here. You need to eat more healthy stuff." He gave the apple to Chouji. "And you need to eat more." He gave the chips to Ino, and sat between them, leaning against the tree. He could see the clouds between the branches.
Ino stared at the bag of chips as though it had grown arms and legs and begun dancing. "But Sasuke-kun likes skinny girls." She sounded a little lost.
"Eat." It wasn't a request, it was a command. "Uchiha isn't here. And I don't like skinny girls- or boys." He tilted his head back to watch the clouds.
Ino flushed a little and opened the bag. She offered some to Chouji first, who gave her half of the apple in return. Shikamaru chewed on a piece of gum he'd found in the bottom of his pocket and felt the warmth from his teammates as they moved a little closer.
The view was pretty nice from here.
Eight- Naruto
"If we circle around and set traps here and here-" Shino's bugs moved in tiny spirals at the places he indicated. It was so much easier having a living, adaptable map; you didn't need to waste extra scrolls that way. "We should be able to ambush them and capture our target easily."
He looked up expectantly at his teammates, or appeared to. It was hard to tell what he was looking at behind the glasses and the collar. Hinata was staring at the map- or just the ground, it was sometimes a little hard to tell with her, too, what with the lack of pupils in her eyes. Kiba was staring off into the underbrush, his nose twitching. Shino didn't sigh; he was used to this.
"Kiba, you and Akamaru will help me set the traps; Hinata will watch for our target." That got Kiba's attention, and a small smile from Hinata.
"Hey. Hey! Who elected you team leader?" Whatever interesting smells had been distracting Kiba before couldn't distract him from Shino's orders. He glared at the other boy, teeth bared in challenge.
Hinata brought her hand part way to her mouth and stopped, trembling fingers hovering indecisively. "I- I did, Kiba-kun." She was still staring resolutely at the ground, but the blush on her cheeks had heightened slightly.
Kiba gaped at her, and Shino had to remind himself that it would be out of character to laugh. Instead, he allowed himself a grin, well hidden behind his collar. Hinata probably saw it anyway.
Akamaru barked twice, and Kiba scowled at the dog. "Shut up, Akamaru. Hinata, you've been spedning too much time with Naruto-kun." He crouched down beside the map and poked at Shino's bugs. "Where d'you wanna start, Shino?"
Shino pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smiled again, not caring if his team saw.
He looked up expectantly at his teammates, or appeared to. It was hard to tell what he was looking at behind the glasses and the collar. Hinata was staring at the map- or just the ground, it was sometimes a little hard to tell with her, too, what with the lack of pupils in her eyes. Kiba was staring off into the underbrush, his nose twitching. Shino didn't sigh; he was used to this.
"Kiba, you and Akamaru will help me set the traps; Hinata will watch for our target." That got Kiba's attention, and a small smile from Hinata.
"Hey. Hey! Who elected you team leader?" Whatever interesting smells had been distracting Kiba before couldn't distract him from Shino's orders. He glared at the other boy, teeth bared in challenge.
Hinata brought her hand part way to her mouth and stopped, trembling fingers hovering indecisively. "I- I did, Kiba-kun." She was still staring resolutely at the ground, but the blush on her cheeks had heightened slightly.
Kiba gaped at her, and Shino had to remind himself that it would be out of character to laugh. Instead, he allowed himself a grin, well hidden behind his collar. Hinata probably saw it anyway.
Akamaru barked twice, and Kiba scowled at the dog. "Shut up, Akamaru. Hinata, you've been spedning too much time with Naruto-kun." He crouched down beside the map and poked at Shino's bugs. "Where d'you wanna start, Shino?"
Shino pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and smiled again, not caring if his team saw.
Seven- Naruto
Spirals- you're never as far from the center as you think.
1. Jiraiya is teasing Tsunade about her breasts (or rather, her lack thereof) again; Tsunade is punching Jiraiya; Orochimaru is trying very hard not to laugh at his teammates' bickering, even though he very much wants too. Sarutobi-sensei is shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, eyebrow twitching fitfully. Jiraiya is hitting the ground several feet away with a shout; Tsunade is still screaming about stupid perverts; Orochimaru is hiding his smile behind his hair. Sarutobi-sensei is shouting at all three of them to stop fooling around.
Eventually, the four of them have lunch, and Jiraiya finally succeeds in making Orochimaru crack a smile without hiding it. Tsunade saves Jiraiya from choking on his ramen, and Sarutobi-sensei congratulates all of them on their good teamwork. This is the way things should be.
2. The third hokage is sending his best jounin after the man who had once been his student; all but two do not return. Tsunade holds Jiraiya, only maybe they hold each other; they're both still bleeding and it's hard to tell. It's not enough that they were sent to kill him but failed- they couldn't even bring him back.
3. Jiraiya is slowly teaching the boy who will become the fourth hokage how to sit still and *listen* for once, god damn it. All he gets for his trouble is a bouncing blond ball of excessive energy chanting "Hokage, hokage!" over and over and *over* again. He suddenly understands why Sarutobi-sensei went gray at an early age, and finally appreciates that he was born with white hair.
4. Kakashi is practically spitting on Obito in scorn, Obito is trying to hide the fact that he's crying again, and Rin is ignoring both of them in favor of just about everything else. Their teacher is seriously considering strangling all three of them, but he hides this with a smile and chides his students gently for not working together. Kakashi is quoting rules in that soft, angry voice he sometimes uses on his team, Obito is scrambling for his eyedrops, and Rin is staring longingly at Kakashi's back when he ignores her. Their teacher wonders why he didn't take Jiraiya-sensei's advice when he was a child and become a short-order cook instead of a ninja.
Obito still can't make Kakashi smile, or get Rin to acknowledge his existence when he isn't bleeding, but his teacher ruffles his hair when he shows up late to training again and he thinks that maybe this ninja thing isn't all bad.
5. The fourth hokage is sorry that he cannot help Uchiha Obito unlock his sharingan, sorry that he can't pound some sense of compassion into Hatake Kakashi's head, sorry that he ever made life hard for Jiraiya-sensei, and sorry that he can't spend more time with his wife. He's sorry he wasn't there to follow Obito when the boy went after Rin and sorry he couldn't stop Kakashi from losing himself.
When the fox-demon razes most of his village to the ground, he's sorry he won't be there to watch his son grow up, but he's not sorry he sacrificed his life to save his home.
6. Kakashi is surprised that his latest group of genin brats actually passed his first test. They don't seem to like each other, but there's a sort of respect in their eyes when they look at each other, and that will do for now. First there should be trust: all other things spring from that. They yell at him when he shows up three hours late and he ruffles their hair- the blond one first, because he needs the affection, the dark one second because he needs to lighten up a bit, and the pink one last because she's probably the most well-adjusted of the three (which isn't saying much), and the least likely to attack him when he does it.
Maybe this teaching thing isn't all bad.
7. Naruto is challenging Sasuke to another match, Sasuke is ignoring him again, Sakura is yelling at both of them to pay attention and start training again, and Kakashi is reading his newest dirty novel, splitting his attention between his book and his students' antics. Naruto is hitting the ground several feet away with a thump, Sasuke is screaming about dead-last idiots who get in his way, and Sakura is having a conversation with that scary voice in her head. Kakashi-sensei is having the time of his life.
Eventually they stop for lunch and Sakura manages to get Sasuke to crack a smile by teasing Naruto about his ramen fixation. Sasuke saves Naruto from choking on his ramen while Sakura pretends she *isn't* trying to calculate the mechanics of getting ramen to spew out of one's nose. Kakashi-sensei is still reading his dirty books, but his visible eye is focused on his team, and it is smiling.
8. When the fifth hokage sent four genin and a newly inaugurated chuunin after Sasuke, she knew deep down that she didn't expect any of them to return. Watching them recover, she realizes that even deeper than that, she knew they couldn't have done anything less.
They couldn't bring him back, but they aren't broken yet- and maybe, this time, there is still some hope for the future.
1. Jiraiya is teasing Tsunade about her breasts (or rather, her lack thereof) again; Tsunade is punching Jiraiya; Orochimaru is trying very hard not to laugh at his teammates' bickering, even though he very much wants too. Sarutobi-sensei is shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, eyebrow twitching fitfully. Jiraiya is hitting the ground several feet away with a shout; Tsunade is still screaming about stupid perverts; Orochimaru is hiding his smile behind his hair. Sarutobi-sensei is shouting at all three of them to stop fooling around.
Eventually, the four of them have lunch, and Jiraiya finally succeeds in making Orochimaru crack a smile without hiding it. Tsunade saves Jiraiya from choking on his ramen, and Sarutobi-sensei congratulates all of them on their good teamwork. This is the way things should be.
2. The third hokage is sending his best jounin after the man who had once been his student; all but two do not return. Tsunade holds Jiraiya, only maybe they hold each other; they're both still bleeding and it's hard to tell. It's not enough that they were sent to kill him but failed- they couldn't even bring him back.
3. Jiraiya is slowly teaching the boy who will become the fourth hokage how to sit still and *listen* for once, god damn it. All he gets for his trouble is a bouncing blond ball of excessive energy chanting "Hokage, hokage!" over and over and *over* again. He suddenly understands why Sarutobi-sensei went gray at an early age, and finally appreciates that he was born with white hair.
4. Kakashi is practically spitting on Obito in scorn, Obito is trying to hide the fact that he's crying again, and Rin is ignoring both of them in favor of just about everything else. Their teacher is seriously considering strangling all three of them, but he hides this with a smile and chides his students gently for not working together. Kakashi is quoting rules in that soft, angry voice he sometimes uses on his team, Obito is scrambling for his eyedrops, and Rin is staring longingly at Kakashi's back when he ignores her. Their teacher wonders why he didn't take Jiraiya-sensei's advice when he was a child and become a short-order cook instead of a ninja.
Obito still can't make Kakashi smile, or get Rin to acknowledge his existence when he isn't bleeding, but his teacher ruffles his hair when he shows up late to training again and he thinks that maybe this ninja thing isn't all bad.
5. The fourth hokage is sorry that he cannot help Uchiha Obito unlock his sharingan, sorry that he can't pound some sense of compassion into Hatake Kakashi's head, sorry that he ever made life hard for Jiraiya-sensei, and sorry that he can't spend more time with his wife. He's sorry he wasn't there to follow Obito when the boy went after Rin and sorry he couldn't stop Kakashi from losing himself.
When the fox-demon razes most of his village to the ground, he's sorry he won't be there to watch his son grow up, but he's not sorry he sacrificed his life to save his home.
6. Kakashi is surprised that his latest group of genin brats actually passed his first test. They don't seem to like each other, but there's a sort of respect in their eyes when they look at each other, and that will do for now. First there should be trust: all other things spring from that. They yell at him when he shows up three hours late and he ruffles their hair- the blond one first, because he needs the affection, the dark one second because he needs to lighten up a bit, and the pink one last because she's probably the most well-adjusted of the three (which isn't saying much), and the least likely to attack him when he does it.
Maybe this teaching thing isn't all bad.
7. Naruto is challenging Sasuke to another match, Sasuke is ignoring him again, Sakura is yelling at both of them to pay attention and start training again, and Kakashi is reading his newest dirty novel, splitting his attention between his book and his students' antics. Naruto is hitting the ground several feet away with a thump, Sasuke is screaming about dead-last idiots who get in his way, and Sakura is having a conversation with that scary voice in her head. Kakashi-sensei is having the time of his life.
Eventually they stop for lunch and Sakura manages to get Sasuke to crack a smile by teasing Naruto about his ramen fixation. Sasuke saves Naruto from choking on his ramen while Sakura pretends she *isn't* trying to calculate the mechanics of getting ramen to spew out of one's nose. Kakashi-sensei is still reading his dirty books, but his visible eye is focused on his team, and it is smiling.
8. When the fifth hokage sent four genin and a newly inaugurated chuunin after Sasuke, she knew deep down that she didn't expect any of them to return. Watching them recover, she realizes that even deeper than that, she knew they couldn't have done anything less.
They couldn't bring him back, but they aren't broken yet- and maybe, this time, there is still some hope for the future.
Four- Naruto
Shino lives with bugs; he can't help it. They're everywhere, in everything.
He thinks, he didn't ask for this- blessing or curse or bizarre family tradition, he didn't ask for it. But it's all he has. The bugs are all he has, when people cross to the other side of the street as he walks by.
Sometimes, when he sees Hinata with Naruto or Kiba with his dogs, or Chouji-Ino-Shikamaru with each other, it's almost enough.
He thinks, he didn't ask for this- blessing or curse or bizarre family tradition, he didn't ask for it. But it's all he has. The bugs are all he has, when people cross to the other side of the street as he walks by.
Sometimes, when he sees Hinata with Naruto or Kiba with his dogs, or Chouji-Ino-Shikamaru with each other, it's almost enough.
Two- Death Note
Light stared grimly at the handcuff on his wrist. He'd have to find some way to remove it- a hacksaw, maybe, if he could find one. He'd searched through L's pockets, but couldn't find a key. His next move would be to ransack the hotel room, but it was a little difficult with the dead weight dragging at his arm. He'd have to find some way to cut his arm free, and then he could get the cuff off.
He prodded the body of the detective, and his fingers came away wet. For a moment, Light felt the absurd urge to taste it; in the darkness he could almost pretend it was just sugar water, or the tea L drank. "Drank" probably wasn't the right word- "gnawed on" was more appropriate.
Of course L would bleed sweets. His internal organs were probably made of cake. Light indulged himself with that thought for a moment; the idea of serving slices of L at Sai's birthday party- he'd missed the last one- made him happy.
He prodded L again, and the body slid off the bed to the floor, jerking on his arm.
Do you see me as such a human being?
I can see you as such.
He'd hit L for suggesting it, before. "Guess you were right all along, Ryuuzaki."
In the corner, Ryuuku laughed, and laughed, and laughed, while Light clutched the gun in his free hand.
Light heard nothing.
He prodded the body of the detective, and his fingers came away wet. For a moment, Light felt the absurd urge to taste it; in the darkness he could almost pretend it was just sugar water, or the tea L drank. "Drank" probably wasn't the right word- "gnawed on" was more appropriate.
Of course L would bleed sweets. His internal organs were probably made of cake. Light indulged himself with that thought for a moment; the idea of serving slices of L at Sai's birthday party- he'd missed the last one- made him happy.
He prodded L again, and the body slid off the bed to the floor, jerking on his arm.
Do you see me as such a human being?
I can see you as such.
He'd hit L for suggesting it, before. "Guess you were right all along, Ryuuzaki."
In the corner, Ryuuku laughed, and laughed, and laughed, while Light clutched the gun in his free hand.
Light heard nothing.
Six- Naruto
NOTES:
The revised, finished version of this story can be found HERE, on ficwad.
So, you know how, according to Sakura's explanation of chakra, you make chakra out of stamina, but you can't revert extra chakra back into stamina. When you run out of stamina, you die.
Naruto uses the kyuubi's chakra when he doesn't have enough stamina to create his own- the fox isn't actually giving him stamina.
The basic premise of this fic is that, twenty years after the manga, Naruto is dying because his body is rebelling against the fox demon being sealed inside of it. He is incapable of recovering stamina or making his own chakra, though he can still pull on the kyuubi's. If he weren't too exhausted to move, he'd still be able to use most ninjutsu techniques.
The other premise to the fic is simple- what if Sasuke never came back?
--------
You know, I never thought- well, clearly, that's nothing new- but I never thought it would end like this.
Naruto could make out the dim, hulking shapes of the hospital machinery in the darkness of the room; here and there a red or green light blipped, little visual cries for help sounding from the depths of the machine. The place in his arm where they'd stuck the needles ached a little; otherwise, he felt fine, really.
Tired, though. Too tired to sleep, and too tired to stay awake much longer.
It was a little lonely in the dark; he hadn't wanted to die like this, flat on his back in a hospital bed, too tired to move.
It was cancer, caused by the strange mixing of human and inhuman chakra in his body. It was a little like Sasuke's curse seal, they'd told him, only no one had really known the outcome of sealing such a powerful demon into a mere human, whereas everyone knew what the curse seal would do to Sasuke. Tapping into the fox-demon's chakra had only quickened the inevitable. Sakura, trained by Tsunade until her own skills surpassed that of the fifth, had cried when none of her medicines or jutsu could do anything more than alleviate the pain.
Seeing her cry had hurt more than knowing he was going to die.
He sort of wished Sasuke were here, so he could have someone to be angry at. He couldn't blame Yondaime for sealing the fox inside of him, and he couldn't blame the fox for being himself- Naruto had been blamed for that too many times to ever do it to anyone else. Even if that someone else was the reason he was dying. The kyuubi didn’t begrudge him chakra anymore when he needed the strength, but a human body couldn’t reverse the process of making chakra- he couldn’t turn the foxes’ spirit into stamina and strenght.
If Sasuke were here, they'd yell at each other. Sasuke would say that there was no way he could be rivals with someone so weak, and he would say that Sasuke was just bitter because Sakura liked him better now, and he'd always be stronger, no matter what, and neither of them would mean it but they'd yell anyway, just to remind themselves and each other that they were still alive.
He missed that a lot, sometimes.
--
He was still alive in the morning, and every day had become like that- "Today is June Twenty-Sixth, and the Sixth Hokage is Still Alive and Feeling Well Enough to Eat Breakfast." He didn't eat much, but it made Sakura smile. She didn't smile enough anymore.
Kakashi-sensei had stopped coming to visit after they'd removed his left eye. The cancer was insidious, appearing in the strangest places all over his body, without warning or pattern; he'd felt his vision going before they'd realized what was happening. The healers had removed his eye to keep it from spreading to his mouth, or his brain, or his skin. They were removing him, piece by piece, until there'd be nothing left but a battered hitai-ate. He wasn't allowed to wear it anymore, but he held onto it anyway, needing to hold on to something in the dark.
Iruka-sensei still visited every day after his classes. He used to talk about his students, and how none of their pranks had ever measured up to Naruto's, and how the old man at Ichiraku was worried about going out of business without his favorite customer. Naruto used to laugh along with his old teacher, but now neither of them had the strength. Iruka came and sat by his bed anyway, unsmiling and silent.
Neji and Hinata saw him every day, too, to check over his body with their Byakugan. They never looked directly at him, but they would stand by the window together, and Neji would comment on the birds he saw. Hinata would tremble a little and cover her eyes to hide her tears. They'd tried sealing off the kyuubi's chakra with their knowledge of opening points, but the cancer had reacted to their efforts by flaring up twice as worse as before. Naruto had lost a lung to that, and Hinata still hadn't forgiven herself.
He hadn't minded; he'd been bedridden by that point anyway, and it had been worth the pain just to seem them standing next to each other. Neji smiled more, now that the branch house had been dissolved, and Hinata stuttered less now that Neji didn't hate her.
An envoy from the sand came once, escorting the Kazekage. She'd come directly to Naruto's room, flanked by her brothers. The Kazekage was always veiled, but Temari's eyes were still sharp and unfeminine above the mask. She'd come with treaty agreements, determined to cement the peace between Sand and Leaf for generations to come. Naruto had asked why, but she hadn't answered; he didn't miss the way her eyes flickered to her youngest brother.
Gaara stayed after the other sand nins left, officially as a peace offering of sorts, unofficially because Gaara didn't want to leave Naruto alone. Gaara couldn't teach him how to stay alive and Naruto couldn't teach him how to sleep, so eventually the other man went away, leaving a sand sculpture of a fox and badger curled around each other as a memento. Naruto hoped he found some peace somewhere, though he missed having someone to talk to who didn’t always have tears in their eyes. (Even if he’d been so inclined, Gaara’s tear ducts were usually too clogged with sand to work.)
Ino sent him flowers every day, either coming herself with bouquets of daffodils, or sending Shikamaru or Chouji in her stead. Chouji always brought food with him, too, and Naruto would thank him even though he never had the strength to eat it. Sometimes he played go with Shikamaru. Sometimes Shikamaru let him win; after he lost the use of his right hand (some sort of nerve damage, they said, we don't know what caused it), Shikamaru never let him lose.
It was better than nothing- better than being completely alone. He had to keep telling himself that. And anything was better than dying in bed- sure, they'd carved his face on the mountain, but they'd never carve his name on the marker where Kakashi went to pay his respects every morning if he didn't get out of bed.
He was so tired though. He slept through Iruka's visit and Sakura's tears, right on into the next day. He dreamed of foxes.
--
"October Tenth, and the Hokage Is Still Alive, We Think. We Don't Know For Sure Because He Won't Let Anyone In His Room."
Naruto knew there were ninja lined up outside his door to congratulate him on turning thirty-two, but he was sulking, and seeing people just made everyone sad, and then they'd start crying. Naruto wondered if they'd let him pass a law about that- no crying in the Hokage's presence unless they're tears of joy. But then everyone would just say they were so happy he was still alive, so happy he'd woken up this day, too- and he wouldn't be able to take it. So, bed-ridden or not, dying or not, incapable of movement and speech or not, he still had enough chakra to keep one stupid hospital door locked.
He'd forgotten the window. Strategy had always been his weak point.
"Well, *this* is a surprise. I'd heard rumors, but I hadn't believed them."
Naruto felt the kyuubi uncoil inside of him, felt the depleted remains of his own chakra feeding off the limitless reserves of the demon. Now he was really angry. Still too tired to do much about it, though. He glared at the man in the window. "You look like his brother. Same eyes."
Orochimaru smirked with Sasuke's face from the windowsill. Naruto wanted to rip it off, but he couldn't even lift his now-clawed hand. "Itachi was powerful, but he always thought too small." He even sounded like Sasuke- or rather, his voice did. The words were all wrong, and the tone was too smug, too confident to belong to the boy who had doubted himself to death.
Naruto was tired, and seeing Sasuke's face hurt. "What do you want?"
"To confirm the rumors. To see you myself."
"To kill me?"
"You’d hardly be a challenge, and I've already got the mangekyou sharingan."
Naruto thought about that for a moment. "Kabuto."
He was rewarded with something very close to pain flashing across Sas- Orochimaru's face. Naruto sneered. "You murdered the one man who was completely loyal to you- or maybe it was the other way around? He was the only one you never sent against me, after all. And for- what, exactly? Power? Immortality? You're wearing out that body pretty quickly- are those wrinkles I see?"
"They are not." The childish retort, snapped in Sasuke's voice from Sasuke's face, stopped Naruto's breath for a moment. They both looked away, composing themselves.
"You've seen me. I'm dying. The only things I can still move are my mouth and my right pinky, but they might have to take the whole arm soon if they can't get the spots on my skin to go away. If you're done gloating, you can leave. Or I can unlock the door, and you can see how well you can take on an army."
Orochimaru snorted and sat in the chair by the bed. "Empty threats, brat. You *were* the only man with a hope at taking me- now, I am invincible."
Naruto rolled his remaining eye and stared resolutely at the ceiling. "Geez, can't you come up with any better lines than that? Loser." His voice had dropped to a whisper, lessening the effect he was hoping to get out of the words.
"Kukuku. Still a brat. Twenty years hasn't matured you in the slightest." There was something almost affectionate in the way Orochimaru bared his fangs at Naruto.
"Quit laughing like that, you freaky snake bastard- and keep your fucking tongue in your mouth. I hate it when you do that, it's fucking disgusting. Bad enough that I had to see you do it in that old form, but seeing Sasuke do it? Just- fucking disgusting." His voice broke on Sasuke's name, and Orochimaru laughed again, but it was Sasuke's laugh, not the snake-chuckle, and Naruto wished he had the strength to die.
"You miss him so much. Ku... It must be so painful, having a heart- he didn't, you know. That's why he left you and came to me." He leaned over the bed and licked his lips. “Maybe I should put you out of your misery?”
Naruto snarled. “Fuck off, snake breath. You can’t kill me. You’re not Sasuke.”
“But you’re wrong.” Orochimaru was standing by the window again, face expressionless. “I am Sasuke. He’s not really dead, you know. His feelings, dreams, desires... they live on in my subconscious. A will as strong as his cannot be completely subjugated, not even by me.
“But you’re right...I can’t kill you now. Enough of him survives in me to let you live.” He grinned and let the end of his tongue uncoil between his teeth. “That’s fine with me; it would be kind to kill you now.”
“Bastard.” Naruto knew it was true; the only thing keeping him alive was the fox demon’s chakra and his own sheer, stupid, limitless stubbornness.
“I think he is glad he isn’t alive to see you like this. He was weak, after all. This would have killed him.” Orochimaru licked his lips again, and disappeared out the window.
Naruto stared dully at the ceiling and waited for sleep.
The revised, finished version of this story can be found HERE, on ficwad.
So, you know how, according to Sakura's explanation of chakra, you make chakra out of stamina, but you can't revert extra chakra back into stamina. When you run out of stamina, you die.
Naruto uses the kyuubi's chakra when he doesn't have enough stamina to create his own- the fox isn't actually giving him stamina.
The basic premise of this fic is that, twenty years after the manga, Naruto is dying because his body is rebelling against the fox demon being sealed inside of it. He is incapable of recovering stamina or making his own chakra, though he can still pull on the kyuubi's. If he weren't too exhausted to move, he'd still be able to use most ninjutsu techniques.
The other premise to the fic is simple- what if Sasuke never came back?
--------
You know, I never thought- well, clearly, that's nothing new- but I never thought it would end like this.
Naruto could make out the dim, hulking shapes of the hospital machinery in the darkness of the room; here and there a red or green light blipped, little visual cries for help sounding from the depths of the machine. The place in his arm where they'd stuck the needles ached a little; otherwise, he felt fine, really.
Tired, though. Too tired to sleep, and too tired to stay awake much longer.
It was a little lonely in the dark; he hadn't wanted to die like this, flat on his back in a hospital bed, too tired to move.
It was cancer, caused by the strange mixing of human and inhuman chakra in his body. It was a little like Sasuke's curse seal, they'd told him, only no one had really known the outcome of sealing such a powerful demon into a mere human, whereas everyone knew what the curse seal would do to Sasuke. Tapping into the fox-demon's chakra had only quickened the inevitable. Sakura, trained by Tsunade until her own skills surpassed that of the fifth, had cried when none of her medicines or jutsu could do anything more than alleviate the pain.
Seeing her cry had hurt more than knowing he was going to die.
He sort of wished Sasuke were here, so he could have someone to be angry at. He couldn't blame Yondaime for sealing the fox inside of him, and he couldn't blame the fox for being himself- Naruto had been blamed for that too many times to ever do it to anyone else. Even if that someone else was the reason he was dying. The kyuubi didn’t begrudge him chakra anymore when he needed the strength, but a human body couldn’t reverse the process of making chakra- he couldn’t turn the foxes’ spirit into stamina and strenght.
If Sasuke were here, they'd yell at each other. Sasuke would say that there was no way he could be rivals with someone so weak, and he would say that Sasuke was just bitter because Sakura liked him better now, and he'd always be stronger, no matter what, and neither of them would mean it but they'd yell anyway, just to remind themselves and each other that they were still alive.
He missed that a lot, sometimes.
--
He was still alive in the morning, and every day had become like that- "Today is June Twenty-Sixth, and the Sixth Hokage is Still Alive and Feeling Well Enough to Eat Breakfast." He didn't eat much, but it made Sakura smile. She didn't smile enough anymore.
Kakashi-sensei had stopped coming to visit after they'd removed his left eye. The cancer was insidious, appearing in the strangest places all over his body, without warning or pattern; he'd felt his vision going before they'd realized what was happening. The healers had removed his eye to keep it from spreading to his mouth, or his brain, or his skin. They were removing him, piece by piece, until there'd be nothing left but a battered hitai-ate. He wasn't allowed to wear it anymore, but he held onto it anyway, needing to hold on to something in the dark.
Iruka-sensei still visited every day after his classes. He used to talk about his students, and how none of their pranks had ever measured up to Naruto's, and how the old man at Ichiraku was worried about going out of business without his favorite customer. Naruto used to laugh along with his old teacher, but now neither of them had the strength. Iruka came and sat by his bed anyway, unsmiling and silent.
Neji and Hinata saw him every day, too, to check over his body with their Byakugan. They never looked directly at him, but they would stand by the window together, and Neji would comment on the birds he saw. Hinata would tremble a little and cover her eyes to hide her tears. They'd tried sealing off the kyuubi's chakra with their knowledge of opening points, but the cancer had reacted to their efforts by flaring up twice as worse as before. Naruto had lost a lung to that, and Hinata still hadn't forgiven herself.
He hadn't minded; he'd been bedridden by that point anyway, and it had been worth the pain just to seem them standing next to each other. Neji smiled more, now that the branch house had been dissolved, and Hinata stuttered less now that Neji didn't hate her.
An envoy from the sand came once, escorting the Kazekage. She'd come directly to Naruto's room, flanked by her brothers. The Kazekage was always veiled, but Temari's eyes were still sharp and unfeminine above the mask. She'd come with treaty agreements, determined to cement the peace between Sand and Leaf for generations to come. Naruto had asked why, but she hadn't answered; he didn't miss the way her eyes flickered to her youngest brother.
Gaara stayed after the other sand nins left, officially as a peace offering of sorts, unofficially because Gaara didn't want to leave Naruto alone. Gaara couldn't teach him how to stay alive and Naruto couldn't teach him how to sleep, so eventually the other man went away, leaving a sand sculpture of a fox and badger curled around each other as a memento. Naruto hoped he found some peace somewhere, though he missed having someone to talk to who didn’t always have tears in their eyes. (Even if he’d been so inclined, Gaara’s tear ducts were usually too clogged with sand to work.)
Ino sent him flowers every day, either coming herself with bouquets of daffodils, or sending Shikamaru or Chouji in her stead. Chouji always brought food with him, too, and Naruto would thank him even though he never had the strength to eat it. Sometimes he played go with Shikamaru. Sometimes Shikamaru let him win; after he lost the use of his right hand (some sort of nerve damage, they said, we don't know what caused it), Shikamaru never let him lose.
It was better than nothing- better than being completely alone. He had to keep telling himself that. And anything was better than dying in bed- sure, they'd carved his face on the mountain, but they'd never carve his name on the marker where Kakashi went to pay his respects every morning if he didn't get out of bed.
He was so tired though. He slept through Iruka's visit and Sakura's tears, right on into the next day. He dreamed of foxes.
--
"October Tenth, and the Hokage Is Still Alive, We Think. We Don't Know For Sure Because He Won't Let Anyone In His Room."
Naruto knew there were ninja lined up outside his door to congratulate him on turning thirty-two, but he was sulking, and seeing people just made everyone sad, and then they'd start crying. Naruto wondered if they'd let him pass a law about that- no crying in the Hokage's presence unless they're tears of joy. But then everyone would just say they were so happy he was still alive, so happy he'd woken up this day, too- and he wouldn't be able to take it. So, bed-ridden or not, dying or not, incapable of movement and speech or not, he still had enough chakra to keep one stupid hospital door locked.
He'd forgotten the window. Strategy had always been his weak point.
"Well, *this* is a surprise. I'd heard rumors, but I hadn't believed them."
Naruto felt the kyuubi uncoil inside of him, felt the depleted remains of his own chakra feeding off the limitless reserves of the demon. Now he was really angry. Still too tired to do much about it, though. He glared at the man in the window. "You look like his brother. Same eyes."
Orochimaru smirked with Sasuke's face from the windowsill. Naruto wanted to rip it off, but he couldn't even lift his now-clawed hand. "Itachi was powerful, but he always thought too small." He even sounded like Sasuke- or rather, his voice did. The words were all wrong, and the tone was too smug, too confident to belong to the boy who had doubted himself to death.
Naruto was tired, and seeing Sasuke's face hurt. "What do you want?"
"To confirm the rumors. To see you myself."
"To kill me?"
"You’d hardly be a challenge, and I've already got the mangekyou sharingan."
Naruto thought about that for a moment. "Kabuto."
He was rewarded with something very close to pain flashing across Sas- Orochimaru's face. Naruto sneered. "You murdered the one man who was completely loyal to you- or maybe it was the other way around? He was the only one you never sent against me, after all. And for- what, exactly? Power? Immortality? You're wearing out that body pretty quickly- are those wrinkles I see?"
"They are not." The childish retort, snapped in Sasuke's voice from Sasuke's face, stopped Naruto's breath for a moment. They both looked away, composing themselves.
"You've seen me. I'm dying. The only things I can still move are my mouth and my right pinky, but they might have to take the whole arm soon if they can't get the spots on my skin to go away. If you're done gloating, you can leave. Or I can unlock the door, and you can see how well you can take on an army."
Orochimaru snorted and sat in the chair by the bed. "Empty threats, brat. You *were* the only man with a hope at taking me- now, I am invincible."
Naruto rolled his remaining eye and stared resolutely at the ceiling. "Geez, can't you come up with any better lines than that? Loser." His voice had dropped to a whisper, lessening the effect he was hoping to get out of the words.
"Kukuku. Still a brat. Twenty years hasn't matured you in the slightest." There was something almost affectionate in the way Orochimaru bared his fangs at Naruto.
"Quit laughing like that, you freaky snake bastard- and keep your fucking tongue in your mouth. I hate it when you do that, it's fucking disgusting. Bad enough that I had to see you do it in that old form, but seeing Sasuke do it? Just- fucking disgusting." His voice broke on Sasuke's name, and Orochimaru laughed again, but it was Sasuke's laugh, not the snake-chuckle, and Naruto wished he had the strength to die.
"You miss him so much. Ku... It must be so painful, having a heart- he didn't, you know. That's why he left you and came to me." He leaned over the bed and licked his lips. “Maybe I should put you out of your misery?”
Naruto snarled. “Fuck off, snake breath. You can’t kill me. You’re not Sasuke.”
“But you’re wrong.” Orochimaru was standing by the window again, face expressionless. “I am Sasuke. He’s not really dead, you know. His feelings, dreams, desires... they live on in my subconscious. A will as strong as his cannot be completely subjugated, not even by me.
“But you’re right...I can’t kill you now. Enough of him survives in me to let you live.” He grinned and let the end of his tongue uncoil between his teeth. “That’s fine with me; it would be kind to kill you now.”
“Bastard.” Naruto knew it was true; the only thing keeping him alive was the fox demon’s chakra and his own sheer, stupid, limitless stubbornness.
“I think he is glad he isn’t alive to see you like this. He was weak, after all. This would have killed him.” Orochimaru licked his lips again, and disappeared out the window.
Naruto stared dully at the ceiling and waited for sleep.
One- Naruto
She had eyes; she could see. She could see the way Naruto tried so hard to surpass Sasuke. She saw the reason behind it- with the Byakugan, she knew him better than he knew himself.
He could look at her, but he never really saw her. Not the way she saw him. Granted, few people could see things the way she saw them, but the fact remained that he would never even understand that she was looking at him in the first place.
Sometimes Hinata hated being able to see.
He could look at her, but he never really saw her. Not the way she saw him. Granted, few people could see things the way she saw them, but the fact remained that he would never even understand that she was looking at him in the first place.
Sometimes Hinata hated being able to see.
Five- Naruto
You are too loud, too bright. Sasuke wants to scream at him, to shake him, to make him *shut up* for just a little while. He wants to rip away the brightness, the stupid orange jumpsuit and the offensively golden hair and the easy joy of his smile until there's nothing to see but the darkness that lurks beneath the surface.
Sasuke wants the whole world to see that darkness, so he can show it off, so he doesn't have to see that light anymore.
He knows it's there. It has to be. He just hasn't been digging deep enough.
But for some reason, no matter how hard he tries to tear everything apart, the only thing he finds is more light.
Sasuke wants the whole world to see that darkness, so he can show it off, so he doesn't have to see that light anymore.
He knows it's there. It has to be. He just hasn't been digging deep enough.
But for some reason, no matter how hard he tries to tear everything apart, the only thing he finds is more light.
Three- Naruto
"Pathetic." Neji walked away, leaving Lee gasping on the ground.
--
"Brother Neji?" Hinata stopped him outside of Lee's hospital room. The idiot had ruptured something in their last training session. Neji wasn't sure why he bothered to visit. "Brother Neji, a moment, please."
"You are a true master of the Byakugan...but sometimes you don't see what's right in front of you." Hinata stared at the ground and smiled a little. "N-next time, you should look, really look."
She blushed and bowed and left before he could say anything.
--
"The cant of your shoulders means you're furious with me- you actually want to kill me, you idiot. But the tension in your legs says that you're too weak to pull off another attack." Neji couldn't help taunting Lee when they fought, just like he couldn't help making Hinata cry.
Lee was angry with him this time, really angry. Neji had never seen him quite this angry before. "I *will* defeat you, my rival!" The effect of his defiance was ruined by the fact that he choked on the last syllable and coughed up blood.
Neji didn't bother to roll his eyes; the Byakugan made it difficult, anyway. Once Lee started talking like Gai-sensei, it was time to end the fight. One Gai-sensei was more than enough.
"This ends now, before you hurt yourself again." Neji brought his hands up again, preparing to knock Lee back for the last time.
Lee wiped a trickle of blood from his mouth and launched himself at Neji with a scream, suddenly, unexpectedly. There was no technique to it, no skill or stealth- just rage and desperation.
Neji was caught completely off guard; both boys hit the ground with a bone jarring *thud*. He cursed himself for not seeing it- since when did he not *see* something coming? It wasn't like he had a blind spot, not one right in front of him, anyway. He stared up at the sky, and watched a flock of birds scatter, terrified by Lee's scream.
"H...Ha!" Lee was a dead weight on top of him, pinning him to the ground. A laughing dead weight. "Ha! I- I won!?"
A confused, laughing dead weight- that had buried its face in Neji's chest, still laughing breathlessly. Neji sighed, though he was as confused as Lee. "You got lucky," he muttered under his breath.
Lee lifted his head, scowling suddenly. "My eternal rival-"
"Shut up." Lee did, immediately; Neji smirked. But then he looked at him without the Byakugan- just looked, really looked, the way Hinata suggested. What he saw this time caught him completely off guard- again. This is getting annoying.
"Just shut up, for once."
"But I-"
Neji kissed him. It was awkward and uncomfortable and not at all romantic or even particularly enjoyable.
Lee threw himself backwards, eyes wider than usual. "N-Neji?"
Neji didn't answer. He wondered if Hinata had known- she must have. Maybe she really was worthy of their Hyuuga blood. Maybe. He could see Lee still staring at him, even as the other boy stood shakily and limped backwards. Eventually he moved out of Neji's field of vision. It took a long time.
Neji remained on the ground, and closed his eyes. It was good to see Lee back on his feet. It just wasn't right for him to be in a hospital bed.
A flock of birds settled into the trees around him, singing.
--
"Brother Neji?" Hinata stopped him outside of Lee's hospital room. The idiot had ruptured something in their last training session. Neji wasn't sure why he bothered to visit. "Brother Neji, a moment, please."
"You are a true master of the Byakugan...but sometimes you don't see what's right in front of you." Hinata stared at the ground and smiled a little. "N-next time, you should look, really look."
She blushed and bowed and left before he could say anything.
--
"The cant of your shoulders means you're furious with me- you actually want to kill me, you idiot. But the tension in your legs says that you're too weak to pull off another attack." Neji couldn't help taunting Lee when they fought, just like he couldn't help making Hinata cry.
Lee was angry with him this time, really angry. Neji had never seen him quite this angry before. "I *will* defeat you, my rival!" The effect of his defiance was ruined by the fact that he choked on the last syllable and coughed up blood.
Neji didn't bother to roll his eyes; the Byakugan made it difficult, anyway. Once Lee started talking like Gai-sensei, it was time to end the fight. One Gai-sensei was more than enough.
"This ends now, before you hurt yourself again." Neji brought his hands up again, preparing to knock Lee back for the last time.
Lee wiped a trickle of blood from his mouth and launched himself at Neji with a scream, suddenly, unexpectedly. There was no technique to it, no skill or stealth- just rage and desperation.
Neji was caught completely off guard; both boys hit the ground with a bone jarring *thud*. He cursed himself for not seeing it- since when did he not *see* something coming? It wasn't like he had a blind spot, not one right in front of him, anyway. He stared up at the sky, and watched a flock of birds scatter, terrified by Lee's scream.
"H...Ha!" Lee was a dead weight on top of him, pinning him to the ground. A laughing dead weight. "Ha! I- I won!?"
A confused, laughing dead weight- that had buried its face in Neji's chest, still laughing breathlessly. Neji sighed, though he was as confused as Lee. "You got lucky," he muttered under his breath.
Lee lifted his head, scowling suddenly. "My eternal rival-"
"Shut up." Lee did, immediately; Neji smirked. But then he looked at him without the Byakugan- just looked, really looked, the way Hinata suggested. What he saw this time caught him completely off guard- again. This is getting annoying.
"Just shut up, for once."
"But I-"
Neji kissed him. It was awkward and uncomfortable and not at all romantic or even particularly enjoyable.
Lee threw himself backwards, eyes wider than usual. "N-Neji?"
Neji didn't answer. He wondered if Hinata had known- she must have. Maybe she really was worthy of their Hyuuga blood. Maybe. He could see Lee still staring at him, even as the other boy stood shakily and limped backwards. Eventually he moved out of Neji's field of vision. It took a long time.
Neji remained on the ground, and closed his eyes. It was good to see Lee back on his feet. It just wasn't right for him to be in a hospital bed.
A flock of birds settled into the trees around him, singing.