Eight, Bleach: Contingency Plans

(Hopefully by posting these one at a time, they won't spazz out the feed.)

Oh, have I mentioned lately that I love Ikkaku? Because I do. So much. So, so much.
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Contingency Plans

Being third seat of the Eleventh Division meant Ikkaku had to plan for certain, almost inevitable eventualities. Things Yachiru couldn't be expected to worry about- the supply depot running out of sake, for instance, or Zaraki-taichou losing his marbles and taking over Seireitei.

In the case of the latter, Ikkaku had worked everything out. First, they would have to take out the Fourth Division. The Fourth was full of wimps, so the Eleventh wouldn't strain anything beating them up, and with them out of commission, the other divisons, wouldn't be able to heal themselves.

Unahana-taichou was kind of scarey, but Ikkaku was sure Zaraki could take her. Reasonably sure, anyway.

They'd have to take out the Twelth after that, because they were too creepy to leave alive for too long. And most of them were as wimpy as the Fourth- they had to be, what with the way they all kept gettin' killed by their own captain.

The Thirteenth would go down easy next- poorly organized and kind of sickly, they wouldn't be a problem. Yachiru was fond of Ukitake, but maybe they wouldn't have to kill him; everyone said he was a nice guy.

The Ninth, Fifth, and Third were all still recovering from that mess with Aizen and the Ryoka, so they'd be no problem. They'd get Shunsui drunk and take out the Eighth; Yumichika would take out the vice captain with one of his super-beautiful-make-over specials.

Matsumoto would get drunk as easily as Shunsui, and Hitsugaya was terrified of Yachiru, so that took care of the Tenth. As for the Seventh- if they could convince Iba to get his dumbass self back to his proper division, they'd just have to let Zaraki and Komamura have at it and wait for the smoke to clear afterwards. Same thing for Renji in the Sixth, and Zaraki-taichou'd been wanting to tear that Kuchiki bastard a new one after that incident with his sister.

Ikkaku personally agreed with his captain on that one. You just didn't do that to family.

He wasn't too sure how they'd take out the First and Second Divisions; Yamamoto was pretty formidable, and even Yachiru was kind of scared of Soi Fong. They'd come up with something. By the time they got through the first ten divisions, the last two would probably just surrender in the face of the Eleventh's awesomeness.

Afterwards, Ikkaku would have to organize the victory party, and that meant making sure there was enough booze for everyone. Maybe whores, too, and food. It was a lot to plan for. Being third seat was a big responsibility in the Eleventh Division, but Ikkaku was determined not to let his captain down.