Right, so the chicken and the egg? I used to think it was the egg, until someone pointed out that even if a chicken hatched out of it, it was still a lizard's egg, so it really couldn't have been an egg that came first; the chicken must lay the chicken's egg.

But then someone else brought god into the equation. And that just screws everything up, you know? And naturally it brought up that joke about God and Eve, you know the one where Eve is sitting around bored and asks God for some company. And God makes her all these nifty animals, but Eve's like "Hey, God, these goldfish are great and all, but do you have anything with opposable thumbs?" And then God says "Well, what I can do is create something for you that'll have thumbs, be able to satisfy you sexually and emotionally, and in general be a better conversationalist than a goldfish. But, it'll be loud, noisy, stubborn, prideful, and it'll look pretty silly when its aroused. So, if I make you this creature, we'll call him man, since I made him out of woman. But you have to promise not to tell him that you came first. It'll be our secret- you know, woman to woman."

And then we went back to chickens. Since it was rather late, I can't quite remember the logic following this discussion, but I was eventually convinced that the egg came first again. It went something like: God created the chicken, but the chicken did have to hatch out of an egg, but then someone had to hatch those chicken eggs...

And so, god ended up sitting on a bunch of eggs, which I can't imagine he was too pleased to be doing. I mean, major deities have better things to do than sit around on a bunch of eggs, right? So then we decided that god must be wandering around with a chicken stuck up his ass. And wouldn't you be pretty damn pissed with a chicken up your ass? And wouldn't you then, feeling rather annoyed, decide to visit plagues and punishments upon humanity, because they don't have chickens up their asses?

There you go. The reason for millenia of biblical misery and punishment: God has a chicken up his ass.

Someday I will expunge the crackheadedness from my brain. Someday.

Until then, Liam is a really purdy name for a guy. What? Would you rather I babble about slash pairings in Boffo and explore the truly disturbing implications of the angels' androgeny? (Serena, should you happen to read this, don't answer that.) Didn't think so.