Since this thing is off the feed, I really need to recapture the feel and mindset of spontaneous blogging. It's something I haven't done in forever, it seems- I used to use this place as a complete brain dump, but now I tend to avoid posting unless I have something significant to say.

There's nothing wrong with posting only at least halfway decent content- one should always aspire to posting no more than 10% crap. But having a rantspace is good for me, and some of my spontaneous babbling back in the day was occasionally interesting and insightful.

I wanted to cut back on bullshit this year, to speak my thoughts and be honest to people's faces. I haven't really been succeeding. Things keep getting worse, and I'm not sure how to fix them, or if they even can be fixed, or if they're worth fixing.

I assume they're worth fixing. Most things are- I just don't know how.

It's the uncertainty that kills me, every time, and I'm just afraid that this will spiral out of control. I've always been afraid of being alone, and that's where this will leave me.

I don't know what to do.