In which Iruka and Kakashi act like teenaged girls, sort of. Small amounts of naughtiness mentioned; discussion of Genma's oral fixation, and Kakashi being a perverted slut. Angst. Male bonding, sort of. Mentioning of plot points that will make sense to no one but me (Recap: Iruka's joined the Anbu, Naruto's defected to Sand, Sasuke's gone batshit.) Where do baby ninja come from, anyway, if all the men are afraid of the women?
---------
They sat on the roof in companionable silence, a six pack and an ashtray between them. Iruka swung his bare feet against the wall, hunched over his beer like a gargoyle. Kakashi let one hand dangle off the roof like a cry for help, flat on his back with an arm flung across his eyes, spitting smoke at the stars.
"Why'd you quit the Anbu, anyway?" Iruka finally broke the silence, scratching irritably at the angry red tatoo on his shoulder. It still itched sometimes, when it got cloudy at night and he felt too restless to sleep and too lazy to train. He glanced at the man beside him through untrimmed bangs; from this angle, he could almost see Kakashi's chin.
"Nine years of it, and I was still alive. Then Uchiha Itachi became my squad leader. I decided I liked being alive more." Kakashi's answer was matter-of-fact, unconcerned. Iruka didn't believe a word of it.
"That would do it, I guess."
"Yeah." Kakashi took a drag off his cigarette when Iruka looked away. "Why'd you join?"
Iruka took a long swallow from his half empty beer can, wishing vaguely for something stronger. "Got tired of seeing my students coming back dead. Figured it was better me than them." He was only marginally more believeable. "You?"
"No one to miss me if I died."
"Shitty way to live."
"Yeah. Easier than trying to care, though."
The moonlight and the alcohol made Iruka feel a little giddy. He stretched backwards, flat against the surface of the roof. "Maa, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Hn?"
"Truth or dare?" He watched the jounin reach behind his head to stub out the cigarette and grab a beer.
Kakashi popped the tab one handed, and examined the label in the moonlight. "A little old for grade-school games, aren't we?"
Iruka snorted. "You tell me."
"Truth, then."
It was a gift, and he knew it. They were barely acquaintences, barely knew more than the other's name, but he'd been given a gift anyway. Iruka closed his eyes to savor it, laughing softly. "You're just too lazy to get up and do anything."
"You know me too well." The other jounin's rebuke was soft and good natured.
"Mmm...well then, what can I use for future blackmail material?"
Kakashi's shoulders shook in silent mirth. "Good luck with that. I lead an exceptionally boring life."
"Oh, I don't doubt it." He felt silly and childish, too young for the space inside his skull. "So, tell me, Sharingan Kakashi...if you could shag anyone on the faculty, who would you do? Or," he grinned mirthlessly up at the sky. "Who have you done?"
Kakashi lit another cigarette pensively. "I've given up on sleeping with shinobi. Too fucked in the head, all of them. So, who have I done..." He tilted his head back to stare at Iruka through his hair. The corner of his eye turned upwards. "Asuma."
Iruka nearly dropped his beer. "You're kidding."
Kakashi's eye disappeared in his smile. "Nope. It was one of Ebisu's stupid parties. He was reeeaaaally drunk." He gestured expansively with his drink. "And I was...not so drunk. There might have been a dare involved. Maybe I was more than not-so drunk." He laughed a little breathlessly, inexplicably smug. "Couldn't walk right for a week...and Asuma still doesn't know it was me. Probably try to kill me if he found out. Kurenai'd help. I'd be doooomed."
Iruka laughed along with him, enjoying the absurdity of everything and blaming it all on the moon and too much cheap beer.
"What about you, Iruka-san? Surely there's a story under that demure facade? What daring sex-capades, wild orgies, illicit trysts in the teacher's lounge...hm?"
"You need to expand your literary horizons- at least start reading quality porn." Iruka drained the last of his beer. "And you're supposed to ask truth or dare."
"Fuck the rules, and don't mock my porn. New game- eye for an eye, stupid story for stupid story. You have to have a few."
"Ahh...nothing I have could top Asuma..."
Kakashi tilted his head again, with the same lazy, mocking grin in his eye. "Oh, but I didn't..." His voice was low and teasing, flirting.
"Stop that." Iruka threw his empty can at the jounin's head; it bounced off the impossible white hair and clattered on its way down to the street. "Oops."
"Fifty points for littering. Now spill."
Iruka leaned over on impulse and grabbed Kakashi's cigarette. The taste was bitter in his throat, but comforting in its familiar burn. "You know how Genma's always chewing on that senbon? He fights with it- spits it with better accuracy than most people can throw the things." He ignored the startled look on Kakashi's face. "He can tie cherry stems in knots with his tongue, too, and swallows bananas whole for breakfast."
Kakashi made a sound in the back of his throat, and Iruka laughed. "It was just a...a fling, you know? Genma's got a thing for younger guys; when Hayate became a jounin, he ended it with me. I think now he's just waiting for Neji to get over himself before moving on."
"Disgusting old pervert."
"Pot, kettle, black." Iruka handed back the cigarette.
Kakashi accepted it with a nod and took a deep drag. The glowing ember briefly lit up his face; Iruka almost caught a glimpse of his mouth. "I can't tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue. Clearly he's the bigger pervert."
"You're just jealous."
"Probably. Does it ever seem strange to you that most of the men around here are busy screwing around with each other, instead of the women?"
"Not really. Women are fucking scary." Kakashi laughed again, and Iruka decided that it would be a bad idea to get used to the sound of Kakashi's laughter. "They're too used to blood and self-sacrifice."
"You never wanted kids?"
He scratched compulsively at the tattoo again and opened another beer. "I had kids. Lots of them. They kept dying, or leaving. You get sick of it after a while." He glared at the back of Kakashi's head. "That was three questions. It's my turn now."
"Whatever."
They lapsed back into quiet while Iruka thought and drank, and Kakashi smoked and stared at the stars. He let the silence stretch as far as he could, and sighed suddenly, noisily.
"I have a mission. Anbu. Could you make sure Naruto remembers to write home?" He felt Kakashi go completely still. He didn't need to clarify what he meant by "home." Naruto still wore a Hidden Sand hitai-ate, and could still be seen sweeping sand off his doorstep every morning with suspicously bright eyes. "And Sasuke will need someone to train with. He still flinches if you go for his eyes, but he's doing well otherwise."
"What's in it for me if I do?" Kakashi lit another cigarette, unsuccessfully hiding the tremble in his hands.
"Maybe I'll pick you up a souvenier while I'm gone." There was no humor in either of their voices. "Maybe I'll owe you one."
"Just one?"
"Two. However many you like. Just keep an eye on them while I'm gone." He'd be gone for a long time; neither of them needed to say it.
"I'll tell Naruto you said goodbye, then." Kakashi rolled onto his side, facing Iruka. He was a silhouette against the moon, but Iruka could make out the lines of a face in the shadows.
Another gift. He closed his eyes. "Thank you."
--------------------
Blindsided- alternately titled In Which Horrible Things Happen to Sasuke, Iruka, Gaara, and Naruto by Proximity. But Mostly to Sasuke.
This might not be included in the actual story; I hate it when I write things out of order, but this scene has been stuck in my head for way too long. I need to work more on chapter one. Bleh.
No comments:
Post a Comment